The statistics don’t lie

Thursday in Numbers

Number of hours I slept: 5.5

Number of Miles I ran: 4

Number of hardboiled eggs I made:  24

Number of hardboiled eggs remaining:  11

Number of swim lessons I taught:  7

Number of bathing suits Number 5 wore:  3

Number of times Number 5 had to put on a different “beautiful outfit”: 6

Number of times Number 5 said “I don’t like you.  You’re a stupid mommy.”:  stopped keeping track after 9

Number of minutes I spent looking for a brush: at least 20

Number of brushes I found:  0

Number of minutes I spent looking for the remote:  at least 30

Number of remotes I found: 1 (much more important than the brush)

Number of minutes I spent looking for the fucking DS which I will never again look for in my life because if I do find it I will smash it with a sledgehammer: 10

Number of minutes I spent figuring out how to switch the input language on my phone from Portugese back to English after Number 6 unknowingly got ahold of my cell phone:  5

Number of contacts on my phone who are now somehow all named Lisa Johnson* (* name has been changed) after Number 6 had his way with my phone: 6

Number of times Number 6 called Lisa Johnson* on my cell phone:  14

Number of times a child said “Mommy?”: at least 7,000

Number of fruit snacks I let Number 6 eat because I just didn’t give a shit anymore:  about 97

Number of times Number 3 peed in a crayon box in the basement because he was too lazy to come upstairs and go to the bathroom:  1

Number of glasses of wine I had last night:  3

Number of glasses of wine I wanted to have last night:  300

I’m Number 2 in the Humor Blogs and Number 5 Overall!  Please help me get to Number 1 and the Top 3!!!

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