Yesterday I took all seven kids to the town beach. Even with my dad there to help, keeping track of everyone was a challenge. Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are fairly easy. But Number 4, 5, 6, and 7 take some work. 5 and 6 can’t swim and need you right there with them, and […]
Parenting
Smoke em if you got em. Unless you’re near my kids. Then f*ck off.
Last night I was at Number 3’s baseball practice with Number 5, 6, and 7. We were having a nice picnic dinner. The fact that it was about 48 degrees out didn’t ruin it. When it started to sprinkle, that didn’t ruin it either. But when some ASSHOLE stood about 25 feet behind us smoking […]
The terrible twos. They actually start in the ones. And last til the threes.
Yesterday someone messaged me asking for parenting advice. Yeah. Like Dear Abby. I was rather flattered. And then I started panicking. What if I say something, this person takes my advice, and then the problem gets worse? Not Your Average Mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about! So I’ll share what I do. With the […]
Ina, it’s only been a day, and I miss you already.
Back in the fall, we instituted a no tv on weeknights rule. It was nice. Until the days got shorter. Along with my patience. Then the tv crept back in during the week. And before I knew it, watching the tv had become the same as drinking alcohol. I just had to make it until […]
All Moms F*ck Up.
In March 2013 in New York a woman killed herself by jumping out of her 8th story apartment window. She had her 10-month-old son strapped to her chest. The baby, miraculously, survived. In fact, he was almost unscathed. Postpartum depression appears to have been the reason. This mom was also completely overcome with guilt because […]
Take someone else to court today. I’ve got other plans.
The other morning I turned on the tv while I was making breakfast. The news came on. In one minute, there was a story about a teacher who got busted for offering students money to have sex with him, some dude who randomly started hacking a woman with a meat cleaver in Chinatown, and a psyyyyyyyyycho […]