One of the biggest challenges of parenting (for me, anyway) is having a plan for the day and knowing that it’s all going to run like clockwork.
And then having reality set in.
That’s when you wonder why ever you plan anything at all.
Last week I had scheduled my first business call with the woman I have hired to help me create my empire 🙂 .
The kids would be in school, the house would be empty, and it would be the perfect start to our business relationship.
Then two days ago I realized the kids had early dismissal today. Friday. The day of my business call.
Fuck!
There was no way I’d be able to have a professional conversation with all the kids home. There is no way to have any kind of conversation when the kids are home.
Okay.
Improvise, adapt and overcome.
Plan B.
I called in the cavalry (Papa) and asked him if he’d come babysit at 1:00.
Number 4 had a basketball game Friday night and was going to miss swim practice, and she’d missed a couple other swim practices this week and really wanted to get to the pool.
I’d take her to the pool to swim when my dad got to the house.
While she swam, I’d sit in the parking lot in my car for the call.
My dad got to the house right on time.
As I was getting my jacket and heading toward the door, I heard a bunch of commotion. Yelling. OH MY GOD! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!
I went to see what was the matter.
The cat had peed on top of the advent calendar and Christmas stockings that have been lying uncovered in a container in the front hallway for the past couple weeks.
Fucker!
Cats are such assholes sometimes.
We took care of the cat pee situation.
Number 4 went out to the car.
As I was attempting to get my things together in the mudroom for the second time, I turned around and hit the giant-sized travel mug full of coffee I had made for myself onto the floor.
It spilled all over Number 4’s saxophone case, all over the freezer, all down the side of the fridge, and then a coffee tsunami made it’s way under the freezer and fridge.
Motherfucker!
I got a towel and wiped off the saxophone case. I opened it up and there was coffee everywhere inside.
Everywhere.
I wiped down all the saxophone parts and the inside of the case, then moved onto the coffee tsunami.
Thirty-five minutes later than I had planned, we were on our way to the Y.
Number 4 made it into the pool, I quickly wrote her practice on the white board, and sprinted back out to my car. I was only 3 minutes late for my phone call.
It wasn’t exactly how I envisioned it. You know, a civilized business call, sitting at my desk with a nice cup of coffee in front of me, some soft lighting, a couple candles lit and a fire burning in the fireplace while I very professionally mapped out my future.
Instead, I was sitting in the front seat of my car in the parking lot with my phone plugged into the charger the whole time because I forgot to charge it this morning.
I realize these are not earth-shattering issues.
I know they are first world problems.
But most days, the way you envision things going down and the way things actually go down are very different.
These are the real life Common Core problems.
You have to make an important hour-long phone call. Two days before it’s scheduled, you realize all six of your children will be home. You may not reschedule the phone call, and you have access to one adult for three hours. During this time you must also clean up cat piss on your Christmas stockings as well as a 50 gallon coffee spill and still make the call on time, but you may not do it at home, and you have to take one of the children with you.
Solve this problem. Explain how you got your answer.
Ultimately, though, we get the job done.
Because even when it all goes to shit, we moms are the ultimate problem solvers.
If you had one of those days (or weeks), just thought I’d let you know you aren’t alone.
Carry on, Bad Ass Problem Solving Moms!
(And let it be known that the beginning of my empire and a revolution for moms officially started today in my car in the Y parking lot).
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