I don’t know if all mortgage companies work this way, but with ours, when you get behind on your payments, you can’t get back on track gradually.
They will only accept the entire amount you are behind.
And when you get into really bad financial trouble, eventually you get to the point where it is impossible to catch up.
The hole is just too deep.
Then you are drowning.
If you’ve been around here a while, you know we are emerging from a three-year-long financial nightmare.
You know we made some mistakes and unexpected, unplanned, and unpredictable emergencies come up. Repeatedly.
You know we were shot down for help from our mortgage company more than once and came very close to losing our house.
You know that things got really, really, really bad.
You know we were on food stamps and relied on the help of friends and family and even complete strangers.
I don’t feel bad that we needed to ask for help.
I don’t feel bad that we were on food stamps for a year.
You never know what’s going to happen.
You never know.
I was judged and shredded by plenty of people who made it clear that they would never, never, ever find themselves in our situation.
I’ve read plenty of comments on the blog or just on social media in general about how people who go on food stamps are lazy and opportunistic and taking advantage of the situation and abusing the system.
I’m sure there are people out there like that.
I know there are.
But there are also ex-husbands and ex-wives out there who abuse the judicial system.
There are certainly politicians who abuse the system.
There are doctors and lawyers and teachers and coaches and accountants and people in every single line of work and walk of life who abuse every system they are a part of.
But that doesn’t mean they all abuse the system.
That doesn’t even mean that most of them do.
And I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the majority of people on food stamps don’t abuse the system either.
First of all, it’s fucking hard to qualify for that shit.
Unless you have been on them yourself, you have no idea the amount of paperwork that needs to be filled out and how (for us anyway) it takes a very long time to be approved.
But here’s the other thing.
While I have no problem at all with needing or accepting help, I very much looked forward to the day when I wouldn’t require it.
We stopped receiving food stamps in February.
And you know what we did yesterday?
We made a mortgage payment.
The first mortgage payment we have made in a long, long, loooooong time.
The first one our mortgage company would allow us to make.
We are finally getting our feet back under us and moving closer to a time where we will be able to do for someone else what other people did for us in these past three years.
And that feels really good.
So happy for you!!
congratulations!!! It took us 4 long years, with the help of a debt management company, for us to get out of the hole. We, fortunately, were not as bad off as you were. But it was a struggle every day. Have an ice cream cone and celebrate.
Because through all of it and more, you still keep thinking of what you can do for someone else, I can’t help falling in love with the person that you are. ????
Everyone has an opinion, but know one really knows or cares about a person’s or family’s personal struggle. You are quite an inspiration. ….so happy for your family’s progress!
Susie, I have been reading your blog for quite some time (due to a google search, none the less) :), I never comment, only because I feel my opinion never really matters, BUT I just want to take this opportunity to say FUCK YES! My husband and I have 4 boys and in both of our previous marriages were living paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet. Since we have been together we are finally able to put a little $$ away and it feels amazing….Not without a few setbacks of course. So, just wanted to send a little encouragement and hopefully a smile and tell you that you are doing an amazing job in life!
Good for you! I worked for years at the WIC program which provides formula and food to pre-natal & postpartum women, infants, and children up until the age of 5. You are exactly the person these programs are designed for: People who have hit a financial rough patch who are working hard to right their situation. I saw Dr. Phil the other day doing a PSA for childhood hunger saying to his audience: “It might be your friend or your neighbor.” I wish he’d also added: “It might even be you.”
I’ve been on food stamps in the past and I agree with you on how hard and time consuming it is to apply for them. I kept saying to myself that I have a masters degree and I can barely figure this shit out! How on earth do people scam this system?
You are an example of how the system should work. People who needed a hand up to help you get back on your feet. No shame in that. And, shame on anyone who says there is. You never know what the future holds. We all live in glass houses. No one should be throwing stones. Congratulations!