Let me tell you something about second grade girls basketball.
It’s not really basketball.
It’s more like skipping.
With a ball.
The girls also do a lot of hopping around with their hands up in the air.
They have no idea that their coaches tell them to do this so they can block a shot or a pass from the other team.
Because their coach has also told them to stay in their zone.
Which they apparently believe is a spot on the floor the size of a nickel.
So when they are on defense, there are 5 girls jumping up and down in 5 different spots on the court with their arms in the air, about 15 feet away from the nearest player.
Afraid to move from their “zone.”
They are basically doing aerobics.
Until their team gets the ball.
Things don’t get much better on offense.
There isn’t much dribbling.
It’s more of a whole bunch of travelling.
Then, skipping over to the girl who happens to have the ball, and yelling her name repeatedly until she very politely hands over the ball.
No passing. But a bunch of hand-offs.
With the occasional cartwheel thrown in.
Somehow Number 4’s 7-year-old squealing, skipping, and hopping aerobics team won the “championship.”
How this is possible when I can’t recall a girl in any game actually making a shot, I have no idea.
Needless to say, Number 4 was excited.
But only a fraction as excited as I am.
Because next Saturday morning,
instead of sitting through another 90 minutes of “basketball,”
I’ll be home.
Looking pretty much like this:
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