Can we talk for a minute about this belief (or delusion?) that so many of us moms have that we should be doing things perfectly or we shouldn’t do them at all?
Where does this come from?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why do we fail to start things (or not even attempt them) for fear of not doing them perfectly?
I was talking with a friend this morning about a big project she wants to start. It’s something she’s been planning and planning and planning for a long time now.
She’s planned until the cows come home.
If she married Prince Harry, her title would be The Duchess of Planning.
But she has yet to pull the trigger.
Because everything isn’t perfect yet.
After I got off the phone with her, I was thinking about this a lot.
I didn’t think I suffered from the perfection paralysis myself, but I realized I do.
I have a whole bunch of things I want to start.
I’ve been wanting to do a podcast forever, but I haven’t started due to perfection paralysis.
I rarely do a Facebook live anymore because if that’s not perfect I don’t want to do that, either.
I have plans for a YouTube channel or videos or something, but perfection paralysis afflicts me there, too.
All this waiting for perfection is stopping me from making any progress.
I also do this with organization in my house.
I just don’t get started with it because I haven’t figured out the perfect solution. The perfect system.
So I do nothing.
And then I remain constantly bothered, constantly stressed, and constantly inefficient.
What if I just started?
What if I just tried something, and then adjusted it after?
It would at least be a start, right?
The reality is that life pretty much never presents you with perfect conditions. Something always comes up. Something always goes wrong. Something breaks down. Someone gets sick. A macroburst wrecks your town (literally just happened a couple weeks ago where I live), whatever… the list is endless.
The other reality is that your kid does not need the perfect birthday party with the perfect decorations and the perfect cake.
She doesn’t need the perfectly decorated room.
Your Christmas presents do not need to be wrapped perfectly. (Your kids sure as sh*t don’t notice when they are).
Your family portraits don’t need to be perfectly styled.
Twenty-five years from now, chances are your kids are going to look at their hair or what they were wearing and laugh (or cringe) anyway.
There are no perfection awards given out at the end of your life.
So I have a challenge for you.
That thing you haven’t done yet? That thing you are waiting for perfect conditions to begin?
STOP WAITING.
Just get started.
It could be a disaster.
If it is, you’ll fix it.
But you know what else?
It could be amazing.
And it sure would be a shame to wait even one more day for you to discover that.
Audrey Johnson says
I find that I can cripple myself if I focus on the planning too much. When I start a project I set a time limit for it. Including the planning part. I can easily keep planning until it never begins. Not sure why. Personality I guess.