Yesterday I posted this picture on the facebook page.
That was part of my kitchen yesterday.
The other parts didn’t look much different.
But I was impressed with the level of disaster.
And, again, I thought…
I bet there are other moms out there feeling like their house is a mess.
Feeling embarrassed.
Thinking it should look better.
So, I took a picture and posted it.
People thanked me, which I thought was funny.
A lot of people noticed the actual sink more than the mess.
But, as I expected, there was a Judge Judy.
There was one person who disapproved with a
Why? Why? Why?
Followed by
Do them right away or shove them in the dishwasher…no excuse for that, sorry…..
Sigh.
I’m not surprised.
But, since you asked, Irene, I’ll tell you why.
I’ve got 7 kids here. 5 of them are 8 and under.
They make a mess.
We don’t really have any money. And just like I don’t exaggerate when I say my house is a disaster, I don’t exaggerate when I say we don’t really have any money.
I don’t use paper plates. They cost money.
We NEVER go out to eat. That costs money too.
So I have 7 kids who make a mess, and I make them three meals a day.
Do you have any idea how many dishes that creates?
Or how many fucking times I load, empty, and reload my dishwasher every day?
At least 3.
Do you know how difficult that is when there is a 21-month-old who goes straight for the knives as soon as you open the dishwasher door?
So why?
That’s why.
Oh, and then there’s the fact that since we are completely broke,
I am using every spare minute I have right now to develop and run my e-course and teach swim lessons.
You know, so I can feed my family.
I guess I could skip those things.
Who needs money?
Or food?
My kids don’t really need to eat.
Oh, and then there’s the working out.
Because if the choice is clean or exercise, I go with exercise.
You know, because I don’t want to go fucking crazy, and take every one of those dirty dishes in the sink and smash them on the floor.
In a fit of mom rage.
So that’s why.
Oh yeah, and then there’s the travel baseball. And the swim practices.
And the fact that my parents are on vacation so my dad isn’t around to babysit. And I can’t afford a babysitter.
That’s why.
Oh yeah,
I forgot about Homeland.
I did choose to watch that yesterday during nap time.
Because I need a fucking break. And maybe I have a tiny addiction to it.
But also because the kitchen is at the bottom of the stairs, which leads up to Number 6 and 7’s bedroom, and every time I do the dishes when they are sleeping, I wake them up.
So I never clean the kitchen at nap time.
So that’s why.
But you know what else? Sometimes that happens because, well, I just don’t want to deal with it.
Oh yeah.
There’s one more thing.
Yesterday I had 30 free minutes.
I spent it with my kids.
Outside.
In the yard. And in the pool.
In 5 or 10 0r 20 years, my kids won’t remember how many dishes were in the sink.
But they’ll remember Mom teaching them how to swim. And how to throw a baseball. And pushing them on the swing.
Watching them do “this trick!!!”
Or making them a picnic, spreading out a blanket, and sitting out in the grass, on a very beautiful July afternoon, to eat with them.
And me?
I will remember them saying,
“Mom! This is the best day ever!”
Because of those 30 small minutes.
There’s no excuse for that sink?
Oh, Irene, yes.
Yes there is.
Actually there are at least 7 excuses.
Now, as for being a judgmental, critical female, who feels the need to make other women feel like a failure?
Well…
Why? Why? Why?
No excuse for that… sorry…
Love it!
You are doing a great job with seven kids~!! You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and thank you for being real~! No one with kids has a completely organized kitchen, a clean sink at all times, no one!
You sound like a great mom who spends time with her kids and understands:)
Have a great day, and you are doing wonderful, wish there were mom honest moms like you!
You are doing a great job with seven kids~!! You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and thank you for being real~! No one with kids has a completely organized kitchen, a clean sink at all times, no one!
You sound like a great mom who spends time with her kids and understands:)
Have a great day, and you are doing wonderful, wish there were more honest moms like you!
I remember you talking about hating spelling mistakes- embarrassed is wrong at the beginning.. And I can’t believe someone actually wrote ‘no excuse for that’- there’s no excuse for THAT comment- what a ‘B’! Irene- take a hike! Don’t need any judgemental judy’s here
You go girl! Well said! It sucks that we have to explain our actions though, doesn’t it. Shame on you Irene. I say don’t read Susie’s blog if you can’t be open to it. And Susie, you impress me every day with all that you do. You are a wonderful mother, those kids are lucky to have you. Messy sink and all!
Damn right!!! Love it Susie!
I’m actually impressed! My sink looks like that on a regular basis with just 2 kids, that’s not half bad for having 7 kids home ALL DAY LONG!! If Irene is worried about it, let HER come over and clean your kitchen!
You tell ’em Girl! Makes me want to leave my dishes in the sink!
I am single and my sink is full of dishes right now. It’s because I have 8 nieces and nephews and while they don’t live with me, I think about them a lot.
Everyone has a different level of tolerance for cleanliness and order, but we should all be tolerant of others’ choices as long as they are not dangerous. Even if I don’t have one good reason for the dishes in my sink, it’s my choice and doesn’t affect anyone else.
More importantly, is anyone else thinking of the song “Come on Eileen” right now?
Come on Irene
Don’t make a scene
Cuz the sink isn’t clean
Endleeessssssllllyyyy
Couldn’t have said it better!
Why why why are you still feeding those kids? If you don’t feed them you save money and your kitchen will always be clean.
I only have three kids, but I know what it is like to have the dishes pile up. When my twins were little I could only load and unload the dishwasher, when they were in their high chairs. They loved the knives, especially the steak knives.They are about to turn three and now they love to help me unload the dishwasher (I grab all the knives first). I hope that enthusiasm is still around when they are 10 or 12.
So good for you on spending time with your kids. One day they will be out of the house and you will have all the time you need to do the dishes:-)
I second that “You go, girl!” Who cares if the sink is a mess? I’m just like you, and I’d prefer to spend time with my two boys than constantly loading and unloading the dishwasher. You are absolutely completely correct in spending time with those little angels now. Life’s too short to worry about dirty dishes or making sure the toys are always put away.
My sink is full by evening almost every day, but in order to cook dinner I have to unload and load. It gets taken care of. It’s not a big deal. You know that, I know that, and most reasonable people know that. The others, well, that’s their prerogative!
I’m home for the summer, and my house is messier than when school’s in session and I’m working! We’re all home, we’re making messes, and we’re having fun. Hubby comes home from work and sees the mess every day. He hasn’t said anything about the dirty dishes or the toys everywhere. He sees that we are having fun and spending time together. My boys have something cool to tell him every day. That’s what’s important. These are the things that matter. 🙂
7 kids and an addiction to Homeland – not sure how you get anything done! Seriously the order of importance would be: kids (most of the time), Homeland, then very far on the list housework.
Just finished season 2 of Homeland…feel like I am in detox..no more until the Fall !!! ahhhh
Amen!
Cleaning vs. Making your kids smile…that is a no brainer! Like you, I don’t care if my house is clean as long as I have happy kids. My job as a stay- at-home mom is to be a mom, not a house keeper. When I do have those moments of “I hope no one comes by because my house is a mess.” I quickly remember, if someone is offended by my house, I probably don’t want them there anyways.
I love your blog and I read it daily.
Quite, sister.
hmmmmm, the only thing I have to say is that I for one am Jealous! You have a dishwasher, I had a dishwasher, then it broke, we replaced it, and that one broke, and we don’t have the money to replace it. I only have 3 kids 6 and under, however I know for a fact I have dirty dishes on the counter. Dishes happen, it is the cycle of life, same with laundry and picking things up. Even if you do enlist kids to help, it can get to be too much.
VERY well said!! I am from a family of 9,7 kids plus my mom and Dad!
I am now married with 3 children of my own. IT IS SO TRUE….I DO NOT REMEMBER how many dishes were in the sink or if everything stayed dust free etc.! I remember all the baseball games,piano recitals,sing alongs,tickle monsters,birthdays, family nights, playing catch…. I could go on and on.
So as my 6yrold would probably say—-
Irene sounds like nothing but a,
“MEANIE POOPIE!”
Now I hope no one goes all Judge Judy on me…I do not condone the name calling but it just seemed to fit!:-)
You sound like you are doing a great job keep it up!! 🙂
P.S. I have 3 kids and my sink looks like that so ehh…ummm…uhhhh….
I have NEVER understood people that use paper plates and disposable flatware for every day use. Do they know (or care) how many trees they are murdering or how mucked up they are making the landfills? (and Im not a tree hugger….I use my fair share of paper towel around here) Plus…its not exactly hard to DO dishes….it just takes time. I have chosen on more than one occasion to let the dishes be so I can play with my kids….the dishes will still be there tomorrow…..
I’m impressed that the dishes make it in or towards the sink. And glad that there seems to be a universal pull between kids and knives in the dishwasher. Any time taken to load the dishwasher is also an opportunity for your toddler to load the dishwasher, but with things that aren’t necessarily supposed to go in there (like foam fridge magnets and tv remotes).
Also, nice sink!
While my house sometimes looks as if a bomb hit (literally), I now manage to somewhat keep the kitchen mess under control by having a 15 minute designated clean time every morning. We have eleven children total, six under the age of 8 (two toddlers), all but 4 were adopted and have special needs. All but two children are boys. Even the three year old virtual twins have “jobs”, and though they don’t do them perfectly. The littlest kids wash the table and counters and ” vacuum” the kitchen (sort of). The six year old empties the dishwasher (using a stool). The 8 year old mops the kitchen. I just couldn’t keep up with the mess without everyone pitching in for 15 min a day. And I found it hysterical when the 7 year old told the six year old “Look, you made a mess from HERE TO HERE! Eat over your plate. “
OMG!!! ROFLMBO!! you actually, just, made me feel normal! Let it out girl, not good to hold it in. Honestly, your children will be better off in the end 😀 LOVED THIS!!!
Ha! Thanks Kelly.
Anything to help a sister out 🙂
I don’t understand why Irene can’t stop over and wash the dishes for you. I mean “there is no excuse,” if you feel that strongly, Irene.
You get to choose how you spend your time. No need to expain it to anyone. Considering the fact that you choose to spend it with your children tells me that you have your priorities straight. The person who commented on your FB photo should consider how they spend their time instead of judging how you spend yours.
I came on to google while my two sons (3 and 5 months) are both occupied/sleeping in hopes to find something like this. A month ago my landlord came to do a “pre-inspection” and took PICTURES of anything that was wrong with my “housekeeping” including that there are clean clothes on my bed that I hadn’t put away before work. There was some makeup etc. on my bathroom sink from getting ready that morning. There were dishes in my sink. The most lovely of all though was the stains on my carpet. That’s not even including countless stains that I have scrubbed off including kool-aid, strawberry milk puke, and so much more. She called my husband, not me, to tell him that I don’t understand the concept of tidiness. She also told him that she could call CYS on me…because my kids are in an unsafe environment. She also told him that having children was no excuse. So on top of being another mother embarrassed of her house, I actually had someone come take pictures and scold me. I was so upset that I couldn’t even cry. I just needed that reminder that I’m not the only one who has felt like this. I’m not the only one without a perfect house.
Send her my picture. You for sure are not alone. Hang in there.
No, NO! You are not the only one. And for me there is nothing more defeating than that kind of criticism. Always choose love. Will others understand? Maybe no, and that is starting to be ok with me.
I have friends that feel very loved because i will invite them over on the “got it together days” as well as the days I am way-way behind in my house. It has led to real relationships and some invites from people who have said that they are glad they can have us over without the pressure of perfection.
I actually worry that as I get more organized I might lose that!…hmmm… probably won’t happen to that extent—-never mind. : 0
This makes me think of my sister-in-law, a lovely Mexican lady, who my family of 6 stayed with in Cancun. She is lovely in every way and one morning before she needed to go to work she was doing the dishes for the double household. No dishwasher, lots of dishes. Limited hot water and little counter space.
I said, “Oh, let me do them. Sorry we have filled your kitchen with a mess…”
She smiled her beautiful smile and spoke in her accented English, “No! : ) Don’t worry, my kitchen is full of LOVE!”
That day has helped me to do my dishes and remember that dishes mean that our lives are full of love. And yes, let them sit for a little while if someone needs you.
My house rule after meals is “Do your age in dishes.” Or, double your age if there are leftovers from a previous meal. My kids are 4, 6, 8, and 10. But hey, the main thing is love those little people. Good job! Keep that the main thing.
Awesome, love it!
Eat shit, Irene.
Way to go Susie, you’re damn right. Living is so much more important than cleaning 🙂
We’ve all been there.
And we’ve all learned to take it one day at a time 😉
Excellent response. Gets the point across and perfectly spread out uses of the F bomb.
Oh My,
Preach it!
I love this post. I obsess over trying to attend to my only child and clean at the same time. At the end of every day I wonder how fast the day went by and why I chose to use my spare time to clean. That stuff can wait, unless I have visitors and even then they claim to understand. So, I decided to make a change.
Actually, I just started a blog myself 🙂
I LOVE THIS!!! You go GIRL!
**claps loudly** I have only one screaming toddler and often find myself picking and choosing when I can relax or have to clean up the dozens of small toys my parents gave him to throw all over the floor. I gave up after the third time I picked them up and he spilled them again. I can’t relate my one to your seven because, really, you are a superhero. I couldn’t do it! Oh yea p.s. Your sink is what my house looks like all the time because clean lasts for no time at all!
I’ve started making my 6 and 8 year old do the dishes. It’s been a big help for me 🙂
I just started reading this blog…LOVE IT. I’m a mom to 6. They’re 16,8,7,6,5,and 2. For the past week I read this daily and go yeah I get it. My kitchen is often a disaster, or the family room, or the kids rooms. It happens but we are living a fun and busy life. You know what I did this morning? Last nights dinner dishes because after dinner we had cheer, then I came come and worked on my job for an hour and then… Well it was time for The Bachlorette.
There are times lately that I feel like I am losing my mind trying to make sure everything gets done. Then I feel like shit because I didn’t spend enough time with my kids. Managing everything is fucking hard. Thanks for sharing so that I know I am not all alone struggling. You remind me of what’s really important. I need that reality check.
Lol, I was totally on that list of those who thought that is one hot sink!! And I completely agree! I only have 2 kids and we rarely go out to eat and we shouldn’t afford paper plates so more often I reach for actual dishes and even then I find I have to run the dishwasher once daily, at least. And you are completely spot on-they will definitely look back and praise every moment you gave them. Because giving your time equals giving your love! I think there’s even a story about that in the Bible…Martha vs Mary ????
hahaha. Take that Irene! Those are all terrific reasons to not do the dishes, you should be proud and Irene should be ashamed for being so judgy.