I was at Number 2’s baseball game last night and there was a woman there watching who hadn’t been at any of the other games.
One of the other moms said to her, “See her? She has SEVEN kids. Can you believe it? SEVEN!?!?!?”
Very often the next comment is something like, “One more, and you’ll be Susie and Husband plus Eight!!!”
Ha ha ha. I hear those hilarious jokes on a regular basis.
Most of us have seen at least one of the reality shows about families with lots of kids…
John and Kate appeared to have it all figured out. And then the truth came out.
There was another show called Raising Sextuplets. It wasn’t quite so popular, but it followed a cute husband and wife with six little kids. And then the wife started cheating on her husband, he found out and got physical with her, and now they’re divorced, and she’s remarried to the guy she cheated with.
So that all worked out well.
And then there is poor Octomom.
Apparently she has a thriving career now.
In porn.
I don’t have a problem with any of those people. I love my big family. I love having so many children.
But let’s face it, lots of kids can really take a toll on you.
No, my problem is Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. The ones with the show 19 (well-mannered, well-behaved, clean, cooperative, helpful, productive, responsible, no-tv-watching, no fit-throwing, kum ba yah-singing) Kids and Counting?
Whatever.
Are you telling me with 19 kids, JB and Michelle never just totally lose it?
Nope, I don’t buy it.
They need a Big Brother-type camera in that huge, always clean house of theirs. A camera that rolls 24 hours a day. I bet then we’d see the real thing:
Dirty dishes all over the kitchen. Everyone running around frantically trying to clean their shit up before the cameras for the show are turned on. People tripping over toys. 2 kids beating the crap out of each other. One kid bawling because she can’t find her blankie. 3 children throwing their food on the floor instead of eating it. One kid on the kitchen counter. One kid peeing on the floor. One kid screaming for help because he “just had a really big poop.” Another kid completely unaccounted for. And Michelle locked in her room with an IV hooked up to a box of wine and Jim Bob watching porn on the computer in the basement.
You’re not fooling me you Duggars, you.
Jen says
Someone really said “see she has seven kids”? I think you are so lucky, I wish I had more kids!! It’s people like that that I say “people suck!”
not your average mom says
I don’t think she meant it in a bad way. But I do feel like a freak show circus attraction at times…
Jonathan Mullen says
Being a father of nine I do agree that there is something wrong with that show. I think it is great that they have so many children. My problem is they make me feel like a failure since the children act so perfect all the time and Jim NEVER raises his voice!
not your average mom says
I was thinking about you when I was writing this. And YES HE DOES!!! They just don’t show it!!!! And those kids are not that perfect. NO WAY!!! They don’t show that shit either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dianne Houck says
I understand completely , Susie! I used to get the question Are they all yours? I love my big family. The kids always tell me now that they loved growing up in a big family. They al lstill love getting togehter for birthdays and holidays. Rich and I are now finding out somethings they did that we didn’t know about! We all have such a great time together!
not your average mom says
I was also thinking of you guys when I wrote this. Sometimes though, I would like to say, “They’re all mine. Except for that one…”
Jill says
My neighbors are John and Kate. Not *the* John and Kate, of course, and they only have one kid, but it’s still fun to mock them – in a loving way, of course.
Don’t be hating on Michelle! I want whatever special Kool Aid she’s drinking to keep her cool (Cherry flavored valium?).
not your average mom says
I’m not hating on Michelle… I guess I’m hating on the producers of that show… And I think it’s chocolate xanax
Monica says
I watch that show and I think what they do is have all the older kids look after all the little kids and cleaning and stuff so the parents aren’t as stressed as they should be…but I agree they do make it look like they are about perfect.
Evalyn says
So I stumbled upon your blog only this morning. Read your latest blog, and then started at the beginning. I’m officially here now
I just LOOOOOVE your blogs. It’s so funny but it is so true!!! I have 2 small kids (3 if you include hubby), and they drive me insane…. but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I always wonder how other women are supermoms… they manage to get their body back after giving birth, the kids are so well behaved, mommy and daddy has date night at least once a week. Mommy’s hair and nails are done, dresses on. What the hell? Am I the only one struggling?
AND THAT’S WHY I LOVE YOUR BLOGS!!!!! Please keep it up.