Anyone can have a nervous breakdown.
ANYONE.
And it doesn’t have to be the result of a recent trauma.
You don’t have to have seven kids.
Or any kids.
Or a recent death.
Or a divorce.
Or a special needs child.
Or have filed for bankruptcy.
You don’t need to have checked off a certain number of boxes on the Criteria for Qualifying for a Nervous Breakdown Checklist.
Whether you are single or married, famous or not, rich or poor, straight or gay, it doesn’t matter.
Life in general is a lot.
We all have our limits.
And sometimes, for whatever reason(s) we go past them.
Taking on too much or having unrealistic expectations for ourselves can be enough to push us over the edge.
So don’t feel like your life isn’t “bad enough” to reach meltdown proportions.
Sometimes just putting too much pressure on yourself is all it takes.
Feeling alone, like you are the only one going through it, or like no one can relate compounds it.
We have all been on different paths.
Our brains are all wired differently.
Some people like chocolate. Some people like vanilla. Some people are allergic to nuts. Some people aren’t.
Some people are pushed over the edge by a dirty dish in the sink.
And some people aren’t.
Comparing your situation to someone else’s won’t make you feel any better.
And it won’t help to heal you.
However you came to be in meltdown mode is okay.
What’s not okay is to not take action to make it better.
It might not be easy, but there is a way out.
And just as the specifics of how you ultimately landed in the rabbit hole may not be the same as those of your neighbor, the specifics of what you need to do to get out may not be the same either.
When you find yourself in meltdown mode, STOP.
Reflect. Reevaluate. Determine what’s most important.
But don’t compare.
You might need more structure.
You might need less.
You might need some drugs.
Or you might need to stop doing them altogether.
You might need to eat more food.
You might need to eat less food.
You might need to eat different food.
You might need to get some rest.
Or you might need to get up and drag your ass out of bed.
But the last thing you need is to keep up with the Joneses in the nervous breakdown department.
The only things you need to worry about are figuring out how you got to where you are, and figuring out what you need to do differently to change it.
It may take a little while, but you can do this.
There are better things out there waiting for you, and better things waiting for your family.
Your struggle is your struggle, and the only person you need to be focusing on is you.
Stop comparing highlight reels, and stop comparing lowlight reels.
Meltdowns are signs. Big, flashing neon signs from the Universe delivering you a message.
Look at the signs. Read them. Listen to the message.
And then go take care of yourself 🙂
Bravo, Susie. You are so right! Sending you love, hugs, encouragement, and faith in yourself!
So true!
Susie,
Just watched the Ted Talk video you recommended with this quote: “The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: Me too.” – Brene Brown
So not to compare, but just to relate with empathy: Me too!
I had a meltdown two years ago after my son had 10 body casts for his rare form of scolioisis and my Dad committed suicide by gunshot. And my career crashed and burned publicly. It built up for a long time, years, and I was depressed on and off, got PTSD and then I went under the bus in a big way.
I know it could happen again if I don’t take care of myself. The funny thing is a med made it worse (Lexapro). I sometimes wonder if I had not been taking it for a year, then suddenly quit for a few days, if I would’ve flamed out so badly.
Point is, is a myriad of factors that put me in the swamp. I DO have a little shame about it…But I don’t have to stay there in the swamp and I don’t have to live there. You’re doing great work. Love you!
Heidi- GirltoMom.com
It’s amazing how much self-imposed suffering we go through because we compare ourselves to others. Everybody’s path is different.
Truth!
This message could not have been more well timed. I just got back from visiting my sister in the Psych Ward of a local hospital. She was placed there Wed. for a nervous breakdown. She has always been a Type A personality who holds herself to way high standards! I keep telling her about you and your blog. If only I could make her realize she is as normal as everyone else. Keep spreading your messages Susie….you are awesome, and I am going to make sure she reads this post!
Susie,
As always, thank you being real. Sending you encouragement and love. I’ve been down the rabbit hole and it is the people that help you pull your ass out that you don’t forget. If you need someone to help pull you out, Call me. Please. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. Life is hard. Being a mother is hard. Life, being a mother, wife, daughter, friend, role model, home maker, is damn near impossible at times. Please call. Anytime. 804-514-9148. Monica
For years, I have said that it’s okay to swim around in your pity pool, but get out before your skin gets all wrinkly. I know that is often easier said than done, and that everyone has a different state of wrinkly. One of my sisters and I have talked about therapy and that EVERYONE should get a little bit of professional therapy, at least once. Sometimes, you just have to hear that you are just like everyone else, even in your own uniqueness.
I hit my limit last year and just about broke down. My job, along with numerous other personal problems, was a major culprit of my depression and anxiety. I’m lucky that I was in a position to quit my job and take the summer off to relax, spend some time with my kids, and work on some strategies to improve my situation. I know I could probably use the assistance of meds and therapy to get my mental state completely in check, but I’ve come a long way in the last year. It’s always good to know that you’re not the only person struggling with themselves.
I don’t know how to climb out…I want to pack my bags and leave…but the guilt suffocates me bc I have husband and seven children….but I’m at my wits end, drowning…..