Five Minutes

6:30:00 a.m.: “Mom, can I have a tattoo? Where are the tattoos? You said I could have a tattoo in the morning!”

6:30:03 a.m.:”Mommy, can you help me cut this out? Where are the scissors?”

6:30:47 a.m.:”Mommy, does my butt smell?”

6:31 a.m.:”Mommy, do we have school today?”

6:31:05: “Mommy? Can you change Number 7’s pull up? She has a MAJOR poop!”

6:31:17 a.m.:”Mommy, who’s coming over today?”

6:31:55 a.m.:”Mommy, do we have swim practice today?”

6:32:11 a.m.:”Mommy, what’s your favorite kind of dip…salsa or guacamole?”

6:32:33 a.m.:”Mommy, am I always going to be in the first heat at swim meets?”

6:32:45 a.m.:”Mommy, do you know why I can’t wait until 2016?”

6:33 a.m.:”Mommy, can I practice my recorder now?”

6:33 a.m.:”Mommy, who is your favorite president? Taft, Coolidge, or Lincoln?

(TAFT??? COOLIDGE???)

6:33:41 a.m.:”Mommy, who is Oscar Pistorius?”

6:34 a.m.:”Mommy, can you put braids in my hair?”

6:34:02 a.m.:”Mommy, can we paint?”

6:34:17 a.m.:”Mommy, what’s for breakfast?

6:34:28 a.m.:”Mommy, does Michael Phelps smoke weed?”

6:34:29 a.m.:”What is weed, anyway?”

6:35 a.m.:”MOMMY? IS THIS PLAYDOUGH OR POOP?”

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