A little less than two months ago, I allowed myself to get wooed into Rodan & Fields.
If you’ve never heard of R&F, it’s a direct sales business that sells skin care products online.
I get approached to do these types of things fairly often due to the blog. I have a big “network”, so I’m the ideal candidate, I guess.
I had considered this company for a while.
My skin has always been pretty nice. But I’m getting older. And it’s starting to show.
R&F has some pretty impressive before and after photos. Knocking five or ten years off the appearance of my skin wouldn’t suck.
And then someone offered to buy the product for me. To set me up in the business side. So, I decided, what the hell.
I ordered the products. I became a consultant. And here is how it went:
Rodan & Fields, Day 1:
Sign on. Immediately get put in fourteen different Facebook groups, all of which have different hashtag names that I find incredible irritating.
Get welcomed to the team a hundred times by a hundred women I don’t know.
Day 2: Have 46 Facebook notifications welcoming/congratulating/cheering for more new consultants who have just joined the MOST AMAZING BUSINESS EVER.
Turn off notifications for all the Facebook groups but one.
Have flashbacks to the one afternoon I rushed sororities in college.
Day 3: Stop checking Facebook altogether.
Day 4: Receive personal results kit in the mail.
Get excited.
Start checking Facebook again.
See someone with the keys to a new Lexus.
Proclaim my intention to become one of the top R&F consultants in the next twelve months!
Open personal results kit and take out the makeup removing wipes.
And the cleansing mask.
And the toner.
And the night cream.
Spend more time washing and applying shit to my face than I have in the past two years combined.
Go to bed, cleansed, but exhausted form my new skin care routine.
Day 5:
Wake up.
Look for signs of improved skin.
See none.
Repeat ten minute skin care regimen.
Go about my day.
Make it through my day.
Collapse on the couch in pajamas.
Almost fall asleep and then remember about R&F.
Fuck. I haven’t done my night time routine.
Get off couch.
Remove mascara.
Apply mask.
Then toner.
Then night cream.
Collapse on couch.
Day 6:
Repeat Day 5.
Day 7:
Repeat Day 6.
Day 8:
Break out like a motherfucker.
Day 9 – 11:
Wait for skin to look like all those before and after pictures I see all over Facebook.
It does.
Except in reverse.
Day 12:
Seek help.
Am told I need to ease into program.
Day 13 – 16:
Take a break.
Day 17:
No R&F for four days and my skin looks great!
Day 18 – 30:
Decide to reintroduce products gradually.
Days 30 – 40:
Dread the nighttime ritual like it’s my job.
Which it is.
Experiment with different combinations and watch condition of skin deteriorate.
Break out like a motherfucker.
Again.
Day 40:
Start to do the math:
This current regimen costs over $80 a month.
But my skin is not moisturized. At all. And none of the products I am using are allowed to go near my eyes.
So I need to add eye cream to the list of shit to buy.
And moisturizer.
And then there is the special roller torture device with tiny little needles in it that you roll all over your face every week. You know, like how they aerate the green on a golf course.
Except you do that to your face.
You have to buy that thing. It costs a couple hundred dollars.
And then there are little mini facial bead things. Don’t forget about those.
And the suction cup device that you, um, well, to be honest, I have no idea what the fuck you do with that thing.
Then there are these little band aid things with more needles in them that you stick on your really bad areas.
Like little plastic leeches you affix to your face overnight.
I didn’t even by any of that stuff. After getting all that, I’m looking at a total of way more than $120 a month.
Even if it did improve the appearance of my skin, was it worth the cost? Or the time?
Mr. Money Mustache would totally not approve of this financial investment. Over ten years, I’d be spending over $14,000.
On lotion. That was making my skin look like a “before” picture, rather than an “after” picture.
Then there was the fact that I needed to set aside another thirty minutes of my day to find time to use it.
Nope.
No thanks.
I’ll take a couple extra wrinkles.
I mean, they’re going to come anyway.
Besides, my awesome new haircut covers most of them up.
So no.
R&F may be a really great product line and business venture for many people.
But not for me.
But there is one really good thing about R&F.
You can return everything (within 60 days) for a full refund.
Day 52:
Box up that shit up and send it back to Texas.
Collapse on the couch.
With my mascara still on.
This post is sponsored by Blue Lizard Sunscreen. Don’t get burned this summer! Check it out today!
Pam says
i have tried so many skin products…and thrown away so many. I have found Neutogena daily cleanser for sensitive skin to be the best. And it goes on sale frequently at CVS and if you do their rewards card, the savings add up. Neutogena night and day wrinkle cream are really nice. The day stuff has SPF which I am vigilant about. Works better than the department store versions costing a lot more.
Beth sapp says
I did the SAME thing! Oil of Olay rocks and I can get it from Walmart on my grocery run. Walmart face wipes also work great! That and a jar of coaconut oil and your only spending a 1/5 of what u would on R&F! + wipes take 30 seconds!
Deanna says
I was contemplating trying it but I have super touchy skin that breaks out at the drop of a hat that I was afraid to. Thank you for confirming my fears that it’s not for me.
Irene C. says
I swear by Olay Complete all day moisturizer with spf 15….I put the stuff on every morning. I have been putting this type of lotion (or Olay’s equivalent) for years, I think it makes all the difference. You can also buy two packages at Costco for a great price.
Amanda Paige says
Ahhhh, this sounds too familiar lol. I somehow constantly allow myself to get involved in these companies. Most recently the same happened with Seacret which is “THE BEST EVER” lol as they say and I was about to be rich apparently. I was joined into a shit ton of groups…received some phone calls from local agents that were going to cheer me on and the girl that signed me up said it was $49 but somehow it turned into $150 and after I noticed she somehow signed me up for some $50 monthly product thing….Ugh it was just an awful experience. In the last 2 weeks I’ve had 2 different people reach out to me for Arbonne and now I guess there’s a new motivational one with dvds and books and shit. I’m staying away!
Love your page btw :), and this post just made me giggle!
http://www.ontothenextpaige.ca