I love Howard Stern.
There, I said it.
His show makes me laugh out loud. Often. I look forward to it. Every day. I will do almost anything in order to have just 5 minutes in the car alone so I can listen to him.
Working on that show has always been my dream job. I’m up that early anyway. And since it’s radio, no shower required. It’s perfect.
How fun would it be to sit around with 2 or 3 of your closest friends for a couple hours every morning, talk about whatever you want, and laugh your ass off? And then there are the interviews. Jimmy Fallon. Lady Gaga. Joe Walsh. Willie Nelson. Are you kidding me? I’m in!
I know his humor is not for eveyone. I know he can be offensive. Which kind of brings me to my story, and a question:
How far would you go for your kids?
You hear people say all the time, “I’d do anything for my kids” or “I’d give my life for my kids.”
But would you go on national radio and let your grown son fart directly in your face, repeatedly, in order to help him win some money?
For a little background info, there is a guy who appears regularly on the show called “Will the Farter”. He can fart on demand. Like, a lot.
While I agree that it’s a disgusting talent to possess, it is still a talent, and strangely impressive. To me anyway.
Probably not what you are envisioning as the future for your son, I know. I mean, I’ve been daydreaming a lot lately about crying in the stands watching one of my kids up on that Olympic podium, a gold medal around his or her neck, belting out the Star Spangled Banner.
Not crying because one of them just blasted me in the face with a nasty fart.
Nonetheless, those are the lengths that Will the Farter’s mom was willing to go for him.
So she was asked 10 questions. For every one she answered correctly, she won $100. For every incorrect answer, she got a blast in the face.
As I was listening I was asking to myself, What is going through this lady’s head to agree to do this?”
Then came the questions:
What does H2O stand for? Her answer: Hot to go.
Then, finish this sentence:
Four score and seven ______. Her answer: Innings?
What is the force that keeps your feet on the ground? Static.
If it is noon in Boston, what time is it in New York? Well, it’s 3 hours earlier, so… 8:00.
Ouch. She didn’t even get the math right.
I guess I had the answer to my question (what was going through her head to agree to do this?). Apparently not a whole lot.
But she sure does love her son.
I’ll donate an organ. Or maybe cut off a limb. But I’ll have to draw the line at farting.
If my kids need some money, I’ll suggest they get a job 😉
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