I’m pretty sure tube tops are off the list too…

So according to a stupid article I read on the internet yesterday, I am too old to be applying a fake tan.

Which is okay, because I like to get my wrinkles the old fashioned way.

And I’m also too old to be wearing leather pants.

I don’t know if I think I’m too old to wear them.

But I’m definitely too fat to wear them.

Miniskirts are also out of the question.  See above…

Luckily, I still have almost 2 years left to wear knee high boots and tight fitting tops.

I hope this chick is under 45.  If she is, she’s not breaking any rules.

But apparently, I should have stopped wearing baseball hats three and a half years ago.

Hmmm.  That’s kind of a problem.

I mean, a baseball hat is an intergral part of my Momiform.

I’m gonna need that for at least another 10 years.

So while the baseball hat issue bugs me a little, this sentence from the article really bothers me:

“We think middle aged is supposed to be later, but women are saying that in the early 40s a lot of things need to be toned down.”

Middle aged?

No.

I mean…

Middle aged?

Actually, no.  I mean…

MIDDLEFUCKINGAGED???

I thought 40 was like the new 21.

What the hell???

How about we make a rule, you know, as women, that we just never use those two words right next to each other along with any form of the word woman in a sentence.

Ever.

George Carlin had a bit about the seven words you were forbidden to say on radio or television.

I’d like to add one more to that list.

I mean, I’d much rather be called the c-word than…

unhh…

middle aged.

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