Word to Your Mutha

The day that you became a mother,

was really unlike any other.

No clue how much you could love,

this bundle sent from up above.

You love his face, his fingers, his toes,

her little butt, her button nose.

And yes, your life is full of joy,

Because of that little girl or boy.

But along with a daughter and a son,

comes some stuff that’s not so fun.

Being a mom?

It sometimes sucks.

It’s often full of what the f*cks?

What the f*ck is that I smell?

Where’s the powder?

WHAT THE HELL???

You feel your patience heading south.

What the f*ck is in your mouth?

What the f*ck is that I hear?

How did THAT get in your ear?

How the f*ck did she do that?

Who threw water on the cat?

How the hell did that get there?

Your hands are stuck inside her hair?

Please stop hanging on my legs.

Who smashed the f*cking Easter Eggs???

You master skills of every type,

None more important than, the wipe.

You wipe their face, their nose, their asses,

You wipe up spills from broken glasses.

You cook for hours, maybe more,

then wipe that shit up off the floor.

You wipe away the dirt and tears,

and scary dreams and nighttime fears.

You’ll be surprised by the things you say.

Don’t lick your sister!

A big poop? HOORAAAY!

Your expectations, become less and less,

with each and every f*cking mess.

With the arrival of your son or daughter,

You struggle to keep your head above water.

You peed on the floor?

Who gives a crap?

Mommy needs to take a nap.

Can’t you see I’m on the phone?

WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE???

Nope, nothing’s about YOU anymore.

Not til 2044.

Except for today — today is YOUR day.

That is, until you hear them say,

interrupting your quiet and calm,

“Stop! I’m telling! STOP IT!

MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!”

Hope it’s all about you today 🙂 

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