The other day I received a comment on the Facebook page in response to a post I had written. It was mostly complimentary.
But here was one part of it:
…Why do you use the F word. You do have a lovely family and I would love not to hear your children use it…
Hmmm…
Why do I use the F-word?
Well, before I answer that, let me assure you that while I may have one of the biggest potty mouths in town, I don’t use that kind of language in front of the kids.
Years of being an elementary school teacher have trained me well to censor myself.
And it’s really irrelevant anyway, because my kids take the bus to school, and they learned the f-word there about 2 weeks into kindergarten.
So, to answer your question.
Why do I use the F-word?
Well I’m not quite sure where to start.
I use the f-word because we have seven kids.
Isn’t that reason enough?
I mean, I honestly think one kid is enough reason to use the f-word.
Often.
I use the f-word because it really lets you know how I feel.
Or how the kids feel.
I could have said, Number 5 doesn’t really care for my new haircut.
But Number 5 just fucking hates it really describes her feelings much more accurately.
Why else do I use the f-word?
Well, the other day, for the first time in six years, I wore the one pair of matching earrings that I have managed to keep hidden from the kids and about eleven minutes after I took them off, Number 6 flicked one of them somewhere, and now it’s gone. Forever.
And now I have zero fucking pairs of earrings.
That’s pretty fuckworthy in my book.
I use the f-word because I am really tired of having an audience while I’m sitting on the crapper.
I use the f-word because someone in this house is always crying.
Crying because I gave them the wrong cup, or because someone took their spot, or because he won’t stop looking at me, or because there is a microscopic wet spot on their sleeve, or because I did not read the story with the right funny voice.
I use the f-word because I’m really fucking tired of trying to find shit that is lost.
I use the f-word because I’m just really fucking tired.
I use the f-word because Number 7, who is three years old and has an impressive mastery of the use of scissors, will opt to cut human hair before anything else.
I use the f-word because I stopped yelling at my kids last August, and that is fucking hard. Typing the word fuck in all of its glorious forms and tenses, repeatedly, makes it much easier.
I use the f-word because on those days that I manage to get all the kids dressed ahead of time, one of them inevitably spills something on her shirt, and we have to change the whole outfit, and we are still late, even with all my getting-ready-ahead-of-time nonsense.
I use the f-word because it makes me feel better when I wake up at 5 a.m. and realize that we are out of coffee, or when I get in the car, am running late, and remember I have like No. Fucking. Gas.
I use the f-word because in addition to not yelling anymore, I am doing my best to stop complaining, and so a good FUCK is all I have left.
But it’s not always when I’m pissed off.
Sometimes I use the f-word when I’m really fucking happy!
Like when I get a great haircut that makes me feel like a million fucking bucks!
So yeah.
That’s why I use the f-word.
I use the f-word because I don’t really give a fuck what anyone else thinks.
But mostly, if I’m really going to be honest, I use the f-word because I just fucking like it.
A lot.
And that’s reason enough for me.
You know what else helps me deal with the (fucking) ups and downs of life?
EXERCISE.
Exercise is literally a (fucking) lifesaver for me.
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I love your blog, your openness, your mothering skills, your willingness to stretch yourself and try new, uncomfortable things that you think will make you a better person – and I love your new haircut! But I hate the F word. I teach kindergarten and I think you are doing something that you wouldn’t want your kids to do. Your kids COULD be learning lots of great words to express frustration, exhaustion, anger, disappointment and excitement. Maybe if you tried to work on that, they would learn another one of your great examples of how a mom can keep improving herself.
Fuck that Maryanne! Did you not read her entire post? She doesn’t fucking swear in front of her kids! I’m sure they have many “great words” to express themselves. Susie, don’t change your fucking vocabulary! You crack me up! Every. Fucking. Day!
Fuckin’ LOVE it!!
Like she said, she doesn’t swear in front of them so if they are learning it, it’s not from her. Now mine on the other hand….. I don’t have that much discipline and slip from time to time.
Me too, Steph! And now we have to teach our kids (12,7,5) that it really is just a word, but you do need to know when & where to NOT use it. And that’s a good thing to learn!
I’m guilty as charged too. Don’t beat yourself up, there is a whpleasure lot worse ypu could be doing.
I’m sure they’ll have lots of great words to express themselves and then when they get older they’ll learn to pepper their funny fucking stories and feelings with a shit ton of f-bombs because people who swear–A LOT–tend to be more interesting and honest.
I totally fucking agree! I love the F word!
You’re a big girl, you get to say whatever you want. It’s one of the benefits of being a grown-up. 🙂
Fuck yeah!
I fucking love this post!
Susie, I fucking LOVE your new do. We took a vote at work – ALL OF US AGREE. You totally look TEN YEARS YOUNGER. What’s funny is….with less hair, there are LESS WRINKLES. What the fuck???? I’m getting my shit chopped off the first fucking chance I get. And a Happy Easter to you and yours.
I love your honesty. Your post just made my day.
I don’t understand that question at all. Why do we do a lot of what we do? Because we fucking WANT to and that should be enough of a reason. You clearly don’t need to censor yourself since there are plenty of us potty mouth mommies that don’t give a rats ass how many times you say fuck. 🙂
I drop F-bombs a whole lot. Yes, I have used fuck and shit in front of my kids (16 and 18). My parents never did, and guess what? I learned them anyway. I try not to use them in front of people who are totally offended by them, and those people never use them either, so I’m willing to forgo that fucking shit in from of them. If I were offended by your use of that shitty potty mouth language, Susie, I wouldn’t fucking read your blog. Or be sweating and fucking glowing with you.. It’s your blog and your choice of words and it’s my choice to appreciate the fucking fact that you rock the potty mouth!
I thought this was hilarious! I’m sitting here at my kitchen table helping my son with his homework while reading your blog. I just cracked up reading it and my son just looked at me like I was insane. Your blog is very inspiring. I love it!
This may be the best thing I’ve ever read. EVER. Fuck yeah!
I’m a high school counselor and I curse like a sailor.
Not in front of my girls, mind you (I’m in an all girl catholic school), but at home and where I am comfortable. Sometimes you need to be explicit in describing things. I don’t see it as vulgar, I just see it as expressive. I use the word “shit” a lot in my blog. It happens. If something is shitty, I can’t think of any better word to describe it.
Express yourself any fucking way you choose.
I literally give 0 fucks that you use the f-word all the time. It’s awesome. Keep up the good work!
Fuck yeah! Best thing I’ve read in fucking ages!
You’re the best! I’d be happy to call you my daughter’s twin. She’s a teacher with 4.😊
Aw, thanks, Jodie! 💗
I wandered here by accident trying to find the meaning of a “great moms use the f word” shirt my gf ordered in case someone asked we’d have a legitimate answer to give other than “not your fucking business” and after reading several post trying to find this meaning I felt compelled to point out that people who truly dont give a fuck really shouldnt feel the need to post in a forum telling other people about how they dont give a fuck….jus sayin