What’s a fucking apple? and 41 other not so shining parenting moments.

We’ve all had one.

That really regrettable parenting moment.

If we are going to be honest, we’ve all had many of them. And we will all have many more.

But for some reason, we feel like we must be the only one on the planet to have had a parenting fail.

I recently received a message from a friend who was beating herself up over some stupid shit she said to her kids. And it wasn’t even really that bad. I mean, it would have only registered about a 5 on my Shitty Moments in Motherhood richter scale.

Naturally, I took to the Facebook page looking for support for this friend.

And boy did I get it.

So if you are beating yourself up over something you said or did that you wish you could take back and you are sure you are the only mom to ever do such a thing and that you have fucked up your kids for life, well, you are in luck.

You are not alone.

Don’t believe me?

Keep reading. Here are forty-two stories from other moms just like you. And me.

I told my 3yo son to stop acting like an asshole. I usually just say it in my head but it was 1st day back at school, everyone was late and he was acting like an asshole. Good news is his speech delay is improved immensely cause he can say asshole really well.*faceplant*

We have all said or done things we wish we could take back. Anyone who says they haven’t is a liar. I just apologize and move on. We’re only human and kids make us crazy!

Mommy guilt is totally normal.. we are out own worst enemies.. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had mommy guilt from yelling at my daughter, or even my nieces and nephews sometimes.. but my mom always tells me that it just means that I’m a good mom when I feel guilty or remorseful for some of the stupid things I say.. just take a breather and don’t let it get to you.. They’ll forget about it in 15 minutes and be on to the next annoying thing in no time 😉

Oh ya. I have a teenager and I still feel guilty for something I said to him once. Maybe even a couple things, if I’m honest. And I wonder if it may have been one of those pivotal moments in his life that changed the way he felt about himself. It still breaks my heart that I lost my temper and said something ugly to him over “nothing.” You’re not alone. I want so badly to bring it up and apologize, after all these years, but I’m too afraid to remind him in case he forgot and it was no big deal to him. He was so young. Maybe one day I will have the courage to find out and ask him.

My kids were being purely awful to each other all week (and it’d already been a tough week on me). I was super stressed and told them they were awful, just awful. No big deal until I realized I said it a lot. Their actions and choices were awful, not them as people. In one moment, I heard “you’re awful” echo in my head as I said it and I realized what they might really be hearing. And it made me feel…just awful in return.

My kids have heard some awful things but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone! I tell them I love them multiple times a day but sometimes they can just really push those mommy buttons!

I raise my voice TOO MUCH and feel guilty for it daily. I try hard not to but it the first thing that goes…

I went off on my 10 year old last week because he was refusing to go to football practice. I said bad words and was yelling very loud and nearly smacked him. It doesn’t happen often and I feel guilty afterwards. He just pushes my buttons to the point sometimes.

Omg my whole day has been like this!! Peaked at dinner after my son threw mashed potatoes in my face! Then said out loud how horrible of job I’m doing being a mother. My husband then assured me I’m not and that he is two, but I still feel horrible!! Omg is it bed time yet?!

Yesterday my son was told repeatedly not to toss his toys around the house! He then threw another one that went straight into the 52 inch tv!!! Yup smashed! Shattered the tv. I didn’t know what to do. I was in shock. I put him in his room where he screamed at me that I was no longer his best friend! I then cried cause my tv was shattered but mostly cause I was no longer his best friend!!! Omg I think the terrible twos are going to break me! After telling my hubby and the initial shock and madness wore off we were talking about it later in the night and both laughed that I mostly cried at him telling me I wasn’t his best friend! 

Most recently I mumbled “you little F***k” under my breath when my 7 year old got in trouble for something incredibly stupid at school. He of course heard me (even though he can NEVER hear me when I ask him to do something directly to his face!) He got super upset and said that was the worst thing I could have ever said . He was probably right and I feel awful. But we talked and I apologized. And hopefully he doesn’t run to school repeating that I said that!

When my son was about 10, I had him standing in a corner for some reason or another. He kept kicking the wall. After about 10 minutes of telling him to stop, restarting standing time, and generally getting pissed, he made a smartass remark and I smacked him in the back of his head. Bounced his head off the wall. He’s 21 now, has long since forgiven me, but I still have the guilt every time I think of it. We are our own worst critics. It’ll be ok.  I promise.

When my youngest son, now 27, was about 8, he did something that made me scream ‘I could just kill you’. He told me years later that he thought for a long time that I was really going to kill him. We never know how our angry words will effect our kids. I felt so bad that he was kind of afraid for quite a while after that. Serious mom guilt!

I threw my 12 year old’s ipad mini on the floor and shattered it this afternoon. Yeah the one she saved her own money for.

Once when my now 18 year old was 4 and struggling with handwriting and resisting the work she had to do, I just lost it and started screaming at her and said, “Do you want to FAIL?!!!!! Is that it? Do you want your teachers to think you’re a FAILURE?” First class motivation theory in action, right there, let me tell you. Be at peace, dear friend of not-your-average-mom, we are imperfect, but we wake up every single day and hit the reset button. We give our children a new start each and every day. Don’t you deserve the same?

Loosing it is normal. I have two grown children. I look back and wonder why they still talk to me sometimes. I was an untreated depressive single mum. So I said and did some truly horrible things. Yes they remember the really bad stuff, but they have both told me they love me and that I’m their mum and I’m a great gran to my grandson.
You learn, you’re human. They learn. But they never doubt they are loved. Just breathe.

My most recent not-so-shining-moment…my 3 1/2 year old is in this phase where he does “the Noodle” whenever he doesn’t want to do something. Like getting dressed, sitting at the table to eat, having a bath, being buckled into the car… he just goes all limp and noodle like and makes this “eeeeeennnngh” noise. It takes me from 0-1,000,000 on the “I can’t fucking stand you” scale in half a second when he does this. Sometimes I cope better, tonight at supper not so much. He kept pushing his dish away and going “eeeeennnnngggghhh” so I told him to go to his room, then he went all noodle on the floor. So I calmly picked him up to carry him to his room and he was “flailing noodle” at this point and then he BIT ME in the stomach. HE BIT ME. I didn’t have a very adult reaction, mostly cause it hurt. It was something like ” WHAT THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH YOU!??!?!” Ya. Momma fail.

I was just talking about this with my coworker the other day. I have had quite a few times where I’ve flipped shit on my kids. Most recently, my 6 year old was acting ridiculous and I said “ooo, I really want to punch you in the face right now” with my teeth clenched. (I didn’t, of course) my coworker laughed and said that she has said a lot of things but not anything like that….that made me feel even worse!

Yesterday I was angry with my son and as I was yelling at him he was smiling and laughing. I told him to knock it off or I’d smack that look off his face. He’s 3. Not my brightest parenting moment.

…No one parent is perfect…we’re not bad, we all make mistakes & regret some things we say to our children on a weekly or daily basis (mine is more daily loosing my cool.) My 2 cents is to not forget to give them tons of hugs & kisses on the forehead when u check on them when they are sleeping & tell them how much you love them & just maybe they can hear us in their dreams.

When my 3 year old would not stay in her room and I really needed her to for her own good, I tied a jump rope from her bedroom door to the bathroom door to lock her in. I needed a time out. When my husband came home and saw it and he had to duck under it to get down the hall all he said was “bad day?” Yeah, ya think. We all have MANY not so great moments.

I told my 14 year old she was being a total bitch to me (she was) and that if we had not been standing at the checkout in Target, I would have slapped that smug look off her face.

I asked one of my kids if he had a brain because what they did was so stupid no one with one would have done it.

All moms lose their minds occasionally! That’s normal, that means that your kids feel loved & comfortable enough to drive you crazy. My teenager wanted to do something unsafe the other night, I said “no way.” She argued & pitched a fit, then she shouted” I just had a really bad day!” I shouted back ” So have I!!” Then we both cried, hugged, talked it out…they learn that others have feelings too. Kids that are perfectly indulged all the time grow up to be monsters…

Nobody is perfect. We all get stressed and lose our minds. It’s a learning experience for both parent and child. My kids know when I’m getting to my limit and I’m sure your friend dropped hints as well. We’re all doing the best we can. If it would make her feel better, I would sit down and explain to the kids why it happened. It probably won’t be the last time as kids don’t tend to stop until you go cuckoo! It’s all part of the job!

It happens to all of us. Trust me. Its because we love so damn hard that we lose our shit with them sometimes! It’s ok. Kids are resilient and if we do good stuff most of the time, it balances out.

The fact that she realizes it and feels bad makes her a great mom! We’ve all been there for sure. I was in a bad habit of saying “what’s wrong with you?” when one of my 4 would do/say something ridiculous. One day when my daughter responded “I don’t know. What do you think is wrong with me?”, I stopped saying it. It was just a phrase of frustration to me but to her, it was me telling her she wasn’t good enough.

I have completely gone OUT of MY MIND with my kids at one time or another. They are currently 16 and 20. The teen years have been the most trying times. They say and do things to make you crazy, say crazy things, and do crazy things. They then enjoy pointing out how crazy you are. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Somehow we just need to forgive ourselves, apologize if needed, take a time out and regroup. They show their ass to us because they know we’ll love them no matter what. Just breathe….

It happens to all of us. I have said some not so nice things to my kids in the moment and felt absolutely horrible. We teach out kids to apologize when they say or do something wrong, so I have had a conversation with them after everyone is calm and apologized. Hang in there, nobody is perfect.

I struggle daily with anxiety and depression. ..I loose it a lot. …I feel guilty more days than I feel good it makes me sad to think I’m hurting them…the truth is its hard especially if life is putting hard things in your path. ..I wish I could tell you something to help you feel better but I know that nothing I ever say to myself or nothing anyone ever says to me ever makes me feel any better…so all I want you to know is if you give hugs love your kids and tell them so then you are doing great mom and you are not alone!***

You’re not alone. I’ve gotten so mad I just tell my son to run! I may have thrown stuff too 😉

I think that anyone that has been a mom for more than 5 minutes probably has more than a dozen guilt trip stories. I felt guilty BEFORE my first daughter was born… But probably my worst guilty story was slapping my 4 year old across the face because she was losing it and wouldn’t calm down… Because… You know… That helped…. We all do stupid stuff. And we can’t take it back. But I think as long as you’re still learning from your mistakes you’re heading in the right direction.

I think it’s healthy to lose it once and awhile, it’s not all rainbows and lollipops all the time. Yes I exhaust all my patience, get in her level, explain things, but then after fortygazillionumpteenth times of being ignored and hearing excuses, a healthy dose of ” whoaaaa mommy lost it” ss not the worst thing. I had two very trying days of us battling each other , mostly because I’m human and moody and was less tolerant than usual and taking shortcuts on our regular routine. I felt horrible and like the worst mommy ever… But I see what it was for and its gonna happen again. I try to watch my words because they do take it as exact meaning. So mommy takes time outs… Sometimes alone outside !!!

I worry on a daily that I’m screwing up my now 9 year old… She really knows which buttons to push and I lose it on a daily with her…there are days I can’t even remember how to feel loving towards her… But I pray every day cause I do love her.

I once asked my daughter to stop acting like a little asshole. She definitely was acting like one…..I cried in the bathroom after I said it.
Everyone has a bad day. Everyone loses their shit….whether it’s because your kids pushed one too many of your buttons, you had a bad day at the office and your boss let you know it, or someone just pissed you off-just because. Perhaps all of the above. You know what? So what. Take break. Decompress. Then, get right back to being the awesome mom YOU are. Okay?

I’m sure there are people out there who never yell and/or swear at their kids, but I’m not one of them. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it either. After all, if they weren’t such little a-holes I probably wouldn’t have to lose it with them so often! I never insult them, but I do hold them accountable when they do not behave as they should. I rationalize it by thinking, if they ever join the armed forces they will not cry during boot camp, because they will have heard it all from their mother already!

Two days ago I had to apologize to my 8 yo daughter for saying stupid and mean stuff I never should have said. As cruddy as it is to fail YET AGAIN in this mothering gig, I am grateful that I got to show her how to apologize without conditions or excuses. I am grateful to have the chance to try again and do better. I am grateful to have yet another chance to learn some humility. I have a long way to go.

Raising my voice and using force on him (not hitting, but very firm grip on his arms when sitting him down for time outs) kill my soul…this is a constant battle for me. You are not alone!!!!

Totally guilty! I’ve told my teenagers “at least you’re pretty” n petted their faces after they said something completely stupid! It took a little while for them to realize it wasn’t really a compliment. Not even the worst thing I’ve said to one of mine! Hang in there mama!!!

I’m a mother of 4 current ages 17, 16, 15 & 13……I think I’ve done and said all the inappropriate bad mum things over the years. Hang in there unfortunately sometimes emotions boil over, hug them, kiss them reassure them they are loved and cared for and amongst all just apologize, I’ve had to apologize A LOT.

I don’t think there is such a thing as “A Perfect Mom”… All moms make mistakes & the ones that say “Well I have Never”! is a damn liar! You see we still are learning. Mine is grown now with kids of their own & if you ask them if they had a perfect childhood they would tell you “not the best, but it was the best mom could do!” Apologize & move on. After things have settled, talk it out & don’t over think it… keep it simple… “I’m sorry I said that & I wish I could take it back.. but I can’t. I hope you understand things get said when we are upset & Ill try to never do that again!” It might take ya swallowing your pride & being a bigger person, but you will feel better & next time just walk away from the argument… take a walk or go take a shower! Don’t beat yourself up. YOU AREN’T ALONE!

In the end we are humans with human emotions. Not one of us is a robot who can do the “right” thing 100% of the time. Personally, I’m aiming for 55%. That’s more than half.

If I had a nickel for every stupid thing I said to my kids, I’d have a lot of nickels. Mine survived and so will yours.

And my favorite…

My 3 year old asked me what a fucking apple was and I told her it was what I called an apple after asking her 3 times nicely to give it back to me so I could cut it up for her.

There you have it.

You might have said some stupid shit.

But so have the rest of us.

So did your mom. And so did her mom. And so did her mom.

And we all turned out okay enough, didn’t we?

Keep on keepin on, Mom. And don’t worry about a thing.

Cause every little thing is gonna be alright.