Today I read a complaint from a parent on Facebook who was “boggled” as to why her child had to sit three to a seat (with backpacks and snow gear!) on the bus.
Ugh.
You know what I am boggled by?
I am boggled by the amount of complaints made by parents these days.
Not just boggled…
Disturbed.
What the heck has happened to people?
Don’t get me wrong. I want my kids to be safe and I want the best for them and I want them to be happy and I want them to have that quintessential childhood experience that all kids should have.
But that doesn’t mean making life easy for them and removing all discomfort.
Why are your kids having to sit three to a seat on a bus?
Because that’s what happens on the damn bus!
Why do they have to, gasp, hold their snow gear on their laps?
Um, because you live in Connecticut and that shit happens here.
It snows.
Your kids do not need to have twelve square feet of personal space at all times.
You know what your kids need?
Your kids need to be uncomfortable sometimes.
They need to sit cramped in a car without loads of room or twelve different forms of technology to keep them stimulated and occupied.
They need to learn how to tolerate discomfort.
They need to learn how to function under less than ideal conditions.
Your children need to learn how to push themselves.
They need to get sweaty and they need to get out of breath.
They need to learn that it’s okay to be hungry for a few minutes.
Your children need to learn how to deal with boredom and they need to learn that instant gratification isn’t a necessity.
They need to go places they don’t feel like going, like the grocery store or to watch a younger brother or sister’s basketball game.
Your children need to get dumped by a girlfriend and teased by some asshole and treated unfairly by a teacher and a coach.
Your children need to have jobs and responsibilities. Before they even get to kindergarten.
Yes. If your three-year-old can hang her coat up at preschool, she damn well can do it at home, too. If your kindergartener can put his own snow pants on at school, then he can do it at home.
Your kids need to be made to do things they don’t want to do, and if they decide not to do it, then they need to deal with the natural consequences of those decisions.
Your kids need to be rejected. They need to try and fail. They need to set a goal and not attain it.
Your kids need to learn how to deal with disappointment.
Your kids need to learn how to work with their hands. How to do manual labor. How to get a blister and still function the next day.
What they don’t need are parents who make excuses and who make everything fucking easy for them.
Why?
Because being a grown up is not easy.
You know who makes life easy for you when you are a grown up?
Nobody!
You have to navigate your way around that crap all by yourself.
And it will happen to you. Over and over and over again.
The people who have been given the opportunities to practice dealing with those situations will be able to take things in stride and put one foot in front of the other when they are adults.
The ones who haven’t?
Well, they’ll probably just complain about it on Facebook.
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Can hear an Amen!!
Louder. AMEN!!!!!
AMEN!!!!!!!!
As a school bus driver, it’s getting old really FAST that parents complain and ask “to move their child to another seat with a friend because she’s lonely by herself” or “the bus buddy won’t let them take turns at the window”.
It’s not a freakin country club!!! It’s not a party!!! It’s a BUS RIDE to/from school that lasts less than an hour!!! There’s a reason why I won’t put the kid anywhere else/with anyone……bc she won’t shut up and sit down if I do……I’ve tried it with several students already!! There’s a reason your kid can’t sit at the window…..bc they get on later and get off first!!! Why take even more time stopping traffic so your kid can try to squeeze past the other student with all their gear?
I don’t get paid enough to deal with the entitled parents too, so please give your head a shake and act like an adult ????
SIGH…….rant over lol
Absolutely no disrespect intended, as a parent, I rarely make requests of teachers and bus drivers etc. What happens when I do make a request, despite the validity of the reason, procedures and policies are used to deny my request without actually hearing why. It is the culture we have these days. Our policies say this. We must be fair. What has been forgotten is that fair does not mean equal. Just as unequal does not mean unfair. It is not unfair to move one child for valid reasons, it is just not equal. Yes, there are way too many people who think that their child deserves a little more, but it is not a reason to deny every request, some kids need unequal treatment for life to be fair to them.
Since when is life fair? Not to be rude, I just would like to know where fairness comes into it. Also whom gets to decide such fairness. Is it fair that one child that is good and never gives folks a reason to draw attention to themselves Constantly get overlooked because the one next to them is unruly cannot handle this or that? I have not been at either end of this I am just saying, what is fair….a kid growing up in the rough side of town overcoming many obstacles and succeeding being pushed aside because one that needs an advantage to get ahead is put to the first of the line?? Just really wanting to know if fairness is a factor in everyone’s life…
My daughter sit in the middle but gets off first never understood why she’s not on the outside
I guess I have let my kids deal with their boredom complaints! I keep on finding activities to do, things to make, books to read ! I think I overdo. Thanks for the reminder not your average mom! Also, I love the way you write your new bullet journal ,oh! I adore it! And the big batch of vegetables and beans soup you made the other day,that number four relished so much- will you be posting a recipe someday?I have dreamt of it often!????
I meant to say I guess I have to let my kids deal with their boredom complaints! Oops!!
YES! I work at a university and the sense of entitlement these young “adults” have is frightening…and I technically fall in the millennial category myself (altho vintage, early 80s)
Preach Susie for our future is doomed with the way many of these kids are raised these days. Parents please stop the coddling
Totally agree. I couldn’t believe the reaction by another parent when said my 8 and 9 year old made pancakes on their own. She looked at me like I was abusing my children. I was dumbfounded. I mean it taught them how and I stay near by as it’s a new skill and I don’t want my house burned down but cooking is good for kids.
Loved the blog.
People entering college age aren’t even considered millennials. They are generation Z.
Preach!! There is nothing I can add to this except Amen!! And thank you! More people need to read this and learn this.
I’ve been meaning to reach out to you and mention that I really agree with so much of what you say. I have a ton of respect for you. And you’re right: you’re really just saying what many of us think or feel. Thank you for brining to light so many issues that need to be talked about.
And also: I think our kids are in kindergarten together. So perhaps we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the coming years.
Peace,
Jen K
I think this is your best post yet. We want to raise loving, appreciative children who can weather storms. We need to resist the urge to shelter them from the world. No one can run from storms their whole life. These are the little easy things that help build their strength and character.
Kids definitely need to emergence hardship. I myself was a little coddled. My mom just loves me and did her best I’m sure – so I’m not blaming her! I hate mommy-blaming and certainly won’t do it to my own mom! I’m just saying… When I grew up I moved overseas to a less developed country – and suddenly had to do without a lot of stuff – washing machine, dryer, microwave, fridge (at times), vacuum, house heater, water heater, working shower, car …just to name a few. I also faced many severe hardships (not related to doing without these luxuries) and guess what? I improvised! I learned so much and I’m so glad for it. Kids really need to be forced to face more “hurdles”, inconveniences, and things that make them uncomfortable…I worry about future generations.
Amen sister!
Love this!! The entitlement drives me nuts! Thank you for saying the things so many others are thinking. I would LOVE it if you would entertain the idea of doing a guest blog for me! Check out my blog and let me know what you think
Excellent! Amen!!!
LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!
OMG…..Best article I’ve read in a long time. You hit the nail on the head, my husband and I were talking about this a couple days ago. High five to you for telling it exactly like it is.
People today feel that just because we all have the right to free speech it means they can say what ever pops into heir heads. I’m 25 and I find my generation also has a lot of entitlement. Like the world owes them something; that everything should go the way they want it to because they never had any disappointment. We struggle to understand the value of things; or what it even means to have a decent conversation. I also believe technology plays a key role. We have all lots out ability to communicate.
*eyeroll* did you think that perhaps she complained about 3 to a seat because it isn’t safe?? That in a car they have to be in a special car seat etc, but on a bus somehow 3 to a seat is ok? Yes, this generation is entitled… but I think maybe you missed your “friend” ‘s point…..
http://www.today.com/parents/why-your-childs-school-bus-has-no-seat-belts-2D80555438
*eyeroll*
As a bus driver. . 3 to a sear is safe..the seats are designed for safety.
As a bus driver, 3 to a seat is perfectly safe. KTHX.
“Will there be counselling for the kids who didn’t get the role they wanted?’
A parent seriously asked this question at a meeting about the school musical. 40 kids won’t even get into the cast!
In the real world no one gives you counselling after you don’t get a part, don’t get a job, get paid minimum wage, don’t get the grade you though my you deserved.
We’re raising a generation of wimps, it’s time to make our kids more resilient.
I think this 3 to a seat is more a safety thing if your kid is the one on the aisle and the bus stopped abruptly then your kid could be flying down the Isle and seriously injured…
I would like to add that at least her child is out on the bus. I see many kids being dropped off and picked up because they don’t like the bus. One student told me “the bus just isn’t for me”.
Each bus costs about $800 per day. Is this parent willing to subsidize the cost of the bus so her child can have more room.
It’s mind boggling alright.
Love this! Well-rounded adults don’t come from luxury childhoods lol
As a bus driver I know 3 to a seat is safe.. seats and buses ate designed for this.
Kids can sit 3 in a seat provided the seat has 3 seatbelts. If not…they’ll stay and not go on the bus.
Buses are designed not to need seat belts. They are safer than cars.
http://www.today.com/parents/why-your-childs-school-bus-has-no-seat-belts-2D80555438
This doesn’t have anything to do with bus issues. However on the subject of “things always going a kid’s way”. I have to say I’m sick and tired of the “I don’t like it” and “you don’t have to eat it if you don’t like it” attitude of kids and adults alike. I’m 40 years old and when I was 5 in 1982 I remember being told “you don’t have to like it, you just have to eat it. and guess what in life we’re not always going to get what we want to eat. Believe me to this day I see people throwing food out cause ‘they don’t like it”. it just urks me. Plus if you think about it there are people in this world who don’t even have a choice of whole wheat or white bread cause they don’t have the option of food.
I disagree on this one. I tell them they don’t have to eat it. It doesn’t get thrown away — it gets eaten by everyone else. They can be hungry until the next meal. Eventually they eat
Yes!!!!! Well said!
As both a 20 year educator and a mom of two, you have great points and reminders about the entitlement mentality. I personally would be much more interested and impressed in your blog if you didn’t feel the need to utilize the ” F bomb” repeatedly. Certainly, it is my opinion and you are free to express yourself in any way you please, but I do feel that it actually eliminates part of your audience that would prefer you use your intellect rather than shock speech to make your point.
I agree with every point you made and would like to share this on my Facebook page,but cannot in good conscience, because of the crude language . I made it a priority in raising my three sons not to use foul language, and in fact taught them that in ‘our family’ we choose not to use those sorts of words.
all because since the 90s weve been led down the woke world !!