What question does YOUR story start with?

You know how big I am on pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Because while it may be comfortable, getting into that mom rut of the daily Groundhog’s Day-esque routine and wearing the same yoga pants each day will eventually cause you to want to get in your car and drive far, far away. Forever.

And the only way to avoid that rut is to make yourself uncomfortable.

Physically or mentally or emotionally.

Or all three.

And I really want my kids to learn that now, and not when they are trying to raise a toddler or in the midst of a mid-life crisis.

Because just like learning a foreign language, it is much easier to get the message across when kids are younger.

It’s fucking hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

And I want my kids to go into their twenties prepared.

Not stupid or reckless, but definitely fearless.

And up for anything.

I don’t want them to have to spend five or ten or twenty years figuring this out.

I don’t want them to spend five minutes figuring this out.

If there is only one thing I can get into their heads, I want it to be the mindset to just fucking go for it.

I’d like What have I got to lose? to be their mantra.

Number 4 has this pretty much nailed down.

Number 3, not so much.

Which is why the fact that he even auditioned for the 4th grade play was a huge deal.

He’s getting it, He’s making progress.

So last night was the first Aladdin performance for adults.

I figured Number 3 would be a little nervous, but he had performed the play in school twice for the students already, so I knew he’d be fine.

Yesterday at 4:30 when it was time for him to get ready to go, he went up to his room.

I thought he was getting something he had forgotten.

But five minutes later, he was still up there.

I went up to tell him he needed to hurry up and get ready to go.

And he was lying face down on his bed with his face buried in his pillow. And he was crying.

“What’s the matter?” I asked him.

“I don’t want to go,” he told me.

“Why not?” I asked him. “You’ve already done the play twice!”

“Not in front of parents,” he said, his voice shaky.

“I know you’re nervous,” I told him. “But you’re going to do great.”

“What if I mess up?” he said.

“Then you mess up!” I told him.

“I don’t want to go,” he said, and he buried his face in his pillow.

I was trying really hard to stay calm and be supportive.

But I was starting to lose patience a little bit.

I wanted to tell him to suck it up.

But I just told him that even the pros mess up sometimes.

And then I told him the rest of the cast was waiting for him, and he couldn’t let them down.

And then I walked out of the room.

I resisted the urge to threaten or tell him to snap out of it, and I went downstairs and prayed to God that he would summon the strength to drag his butt off his bed and come downstairs.

Thank God he did.

And if you read yesterday’s post, you know he did great.

He had one little hesitation where he forgot it was his turn to speak.

And he got a couple minor cases of the giggles (which I’m sure was nerves-related) while he was on stage.

But he did it.

Tonight I talked to him about it.

I asked him how he felt about himself for trying something that was really scary.

“Mom, I felt really good,” he told me, proudly.”Because I think I did a good job, even when I was scared.”

The scenarios he had made up in his head never materialized.

And now he’s got another great story in his arsenal to tell himself the next time he’s hesitant (or completely terrified) to try something.

“You know this feeling you have right now?” I asked him. “This awesome feeling of being really proud of yourself? That’s what it feel like to be happy. Remember this the next time you are scared to do something. Don’t forget what this feels like,” I told him.

He smiled. “I won’t forget, Mom,” he said.

And then he said, “Mom? Are you done talking? Can I watch Little House on the Prairie now?”

Okay. So our lesson in personal growth had been officially ended.

But it’s happening. Gradually, and with each additional step out of that comfort zone, he’s changing.

Before too long, What if I mess up? won’t be his go-to thought, and the story he automatically tells himself is going to start with a different question…

What have I got to Lose?

Thank you for making me Number 1!

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