Our normal routine here is that I get home from swim practice at about 8:00.
I get Number 3 and 4 their dinner, and while they are eating, I put Number 6 and 7, who share a room, into bed. We read a story, then I sing each of them a song, and we do kiss, hug, knuckles, high five, and then they go to sleep.
After Number 3 and 4 finish their dinner, they along with Number 5 who also shares a room with them, will brush their teeth and get their pjs on, and wait for me to finish up with Number 6 and 7. Then I start their routine which entails reading a chapter from a book to them (we are on the fourth Harry Potter book right now). Number 5 is usually sound asleep by the time I get in there.
So tonight after I got Number 6 and 7 to bed, I went into Number 3, 4 and 5’s room. Number 5, as usual, was out cold.
And here was the conversation that took place:
Number 3 (ten years old): Mom, are you wearing a tampon right now?
Me:
Number 3: Are you wearing a tampon right now?
Number 4: (Nine years old): I told him everything, Mom.
Me: You gave your older brother the sex talk?
Number 4: Yep. I told him he’s going to shoot goo out of his penis.
Number 3: MOM! ARE YOU WEARING A TAMPON RIGHT NOW???
Me: Oh. My. God.
Number 3: Is it going to hurt when that happens to me?
Me: When what happens? When you have sex?
Number 3: No, when I pee out blood.
Me: You’re not going to pee out blood.
Number 4: But John (the father of one of Number 4’s friends whose name has been changed and who my husband and I are good friends with) told us he peed out blood because he has a rock in his penis!
Me: He didn’t have a rock in his penis. He had kidney stones. And the only way to get them out is to pee them out. And that definitely hurts. But that doesn’t happen to all guys.
And boys don’t have a period.
Number 3: We don’t?
Me: No.
Number 4:
WHAT???
Me: Only girls get their period.
Number 4:
WELL WHAT HAPPENS TO BOYS, THEN?
Me: Nothing, really.
Number 4:
WHAT??? YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO GET A PERIOD AND WEAR TAMPONS AND HAVE BABIES AND ALL BOYS HAVE TO DO IS GROW A BUNCH OF HAIR DOWN THERE???
Me: Pretty much.
Number 4:
Number 3: So Mom…
Are you wearing a tampon right now???
And that’s when I opened up Harry Potter and just started reading.
I am laughing so hard right now!! Kids are so funny!
Thank you for sharing!
Amazing. I think you dealt with this very elegantly. I’m totally with number 4, growing some hair is not a challenge 😉
OMG . . . When my youngest was about 4 she quietly tiptoed into the bathroom while I was “changing”, saw me and demanded to know “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” After I re-gained my composure I insisted she leave. Never did explain that . . . .
Hysterical when your not the one listening.
😂😂😂 Or like five years later