Weekend Statistics
Number of weddings I attended: 1
Number of consecutive hours I was away from my children: 29
Number of years it’s been since my husband and I spent a night alone: 3.5
Number of safety pins I needed in order to attach my dress to my bra to prevent my boobs from flying out: 4
Number of safety pins I forgot to bring with me: 4
Number of degrees it was in the church: 100
Number of times I forgot where I was and said the f word in the church: 1
Number of times I cried: 6, at least
Number of minutes the father of the bride’s toast lasted: 15, at least
Number of glasses of wine I had at the reception before I lost count: 7, at least
Number of times I sang into the microphone with the band: 1
Number of cheesy 80’s songs I danced to: who knows
Number of times I peed in my pants a little while dancing like a drunken idiot: 2
Number minutes it took for a kid to start crying after we got home: 3
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