Tough People Do

I know the holidays are a tough time of year for some people.

You may be in a bad way right now. You may not have much money. Or any money. You may not know how you are going to get your kids Christmas presents.

You may have purchased your Thanksgiving dinner on a credit card  and when the bill comes in three weeks, you will have no way to pay it.

Or you  may have opted not to pay your electric bill this month so that you could give your family a nice meal.

Your kids may be happy and healthy and completely clueless about the reality of your situation because you are doing everything that you can to keep them unaware of how daunting things look right now.

You may be stressed out and not sleeping and worrying about how you will make ends meet on Monday.

Your marriage may be paying the price as a result.

You may not be able to remember a time when things were good.

Where you weren’t worrying and fighting.

You may have thrown words out there. Big ones. Damaging ones.

Maybe we should get a divorce.

I can’t do this anymore.

You may be losing hope.

But if you are reading this, then all hope is not lost.

For starters, you have a computer. Or a phone. Or an iPad.

And better times are ahead.

They are.

I know.

Because after three years of stressing and panicking, after three years of not being able to make ends meet, after three years of constantly worrying about money (or the absence of it), after knee replacement and cervical fusion surgeries and bankruptcies and arguments and fights and the Man from CL&P knocking on the door on a regular basis, after curve balls and left turns and low blows and sucker punches, things have finally taken a turn for the better.

The ass-busting I’ve been doing for the last three and a half years is starting to pay off.

And two days ago, my husband started a new job. A great, new, awesome job.

And just like that, I have gone from feeling hopeless, to feeling hopeful.

Everything is going to be alright. My family is going to be alright. My marriage is going to be alright.

Because we stayed the course. Even in those times where we really didn’t fucking want to. Where we just wanted to throw in the towel. Run away. Hide in a blanket fort.

We are not totally out of the woods yet.

But I can see a clearing in the distance.

If you are still in the thick of your three (or however many) years, don’t give up.

Better times are ahead.

I know it.

And once you get to them, you will look back on this shitty stage of your life and feel thankful.

Because while you might not have been able to see it at the time, the shittiness made you a less judgmental and a more empathetic, understanding, and stronger person.

These tough times aren’t breaking you down.

They are actually building you up. They are making you better. Teaching you that if you can make it through this, you can make it through anything.

Stay the course.

In the words of a former swim coach, Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.

I can’t tell you how long you’re gonna have to tough it out. I can’t tell you when you will move from feeling hopeless to feeling hopeful.

But it will happen.

I know it will.

Because it’s finally happening for me.