It’s New Year’s Eve!
Woo hoooo!!!
Oh.
Wait.
Who gives a shit.
New Year’s Eve stopped being exciting about…
Um…
7 kids ago.
The last time I partied like it was 1999 was in…
1999.
Yep.
Don’t get me wrong.
I will still pass out on New Year’s Eve.
But now it’s from exhaustion instead of intoxication.
So rather than have you waste your time asking me what my plans for New Year’s Eve are, I’ll tell you right now.
They are the same as my plans for February 28th, or May 31st, or September 30th…
Make it through the day without any of my children injuring themselves or each other, prevent my house from being completely destroyed, get everyone into bed as early as possible, put on clothing with an elasticized waistband –well, put on different clothing with an elasticized waistband — and park my ass on the couch.
I am not one of those parents who allows their kids to stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve.
I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend why anyone would want to do that.
I mean, how different is January 1st from December 31st for anyone who is under the age of 18 anyway?
My kids are miserable enough when they have a full night’s sleep.
I don’t need any extra challenges…
I mean, the only thing that would be worse than staying up until midnight with my children would be this:
Actually, I think I’d rather be freezing and claustrophobic in Times Square than awake with my children after 10 pm.
Where do all those people pee, anyway?
So, if you are reading this, and you are still single, and childless, and putting on your tight little minidress, and heels, and extra glitter and hairband with 2013 attached to the top of it…
Have a drink for me.
I’ll be there with you in spirit.
Yeah right.
No I won’t.
I’ll be fast asleep.
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I have also wondered where they all go to the bathroom…
In a port-a-potty? Or maybe just on the ground? Eww lol
Agreed!
I went to Time’s Square a few years ago about a week after New Years, and there was STILL trash and shit and confetti everywhere. No thank you.
I agree with you that New Year just isn’t the same with kids. At first I hated it, as my body suffered from vodka deprivation symptoms but now I quite enjoy it. It is all about preparing the food and drinks for them and watching their faces light up when the clock strikes 12. Actually, when I think about it I would still rather be drinking vodka but all I need to do is hold on for about a dozen years more and I’ll be able to party again.
Susie.., You are not alone. I will be “partying” like you…in my pjs by 9 pm watching back to back to back episodes of Elmo and folding laundry. Happy New Year!
We should have had a pajama party…
I rather be watching Elmo! We are streaming a live Phish concert onto our TV. My husband loves that band. I do not! I will be in bed very soon!
Happy New Year