Time to inspire some Canadians.

So I may be in the middle of a tiny little shitstorm here in CT, but that doesn’t mean my whole entire life sucks.

On Friday I’m going somewhere I’ve never gone to do something I’ve never done.

I’m getting on a plane and I’m flying to Canada.

And I’m going to be the keynote speaker at an all day conference for moms.

It’s called the Mom Conference.

I’m a little bit excited.

And a little bit nervous.

Okay. I might be a lot nervous.

Because true to form, I’m totally not ready.

The PowerPoint presentation I’m doing as part of my talk isn’t finished yet.

Okay, that’s not totally true.

It’s actually not even started yet.

I was going to start it last Friday.

Then we got the fucking foreclosure letter and then I had to coach a meet all weekend and then the foreclosure reality set in on Monday and then on Tuesday all I did was cry all day and then today I was going to start it but I spent over an hour on the phone with Tyrone, my home preservation specialist, and then Number 7 decided that she was going to be the World’s Biggest Pain In the Ass and throw the World’s Loudest and Longest Tantrum in the History of… um…  EVER.

I’m not kidding.

A two hour meltdown.

I was ready to jump into traffic.

So anyway, it’s now 9:57 p.m., and I haven’t done a damn thing.

I should probably be working on that now instead of writing this post, but I usually function better under pressure.

And I’m glad I waited a little bit.

The past couple days have been interesting, to say the least.

Miss P, Number 5 and 6’s bus driver pulled up to the driveway yesterday morning and she told the kids to get on the bus. Then she told me she wanted to talk to me and she came down the the bottom step of the bus.  She had read the foreclosure post.

“I want to give you a hug,” she said.

She said some other stuff but to be honest, I was crying so hard, I didn’t hear much of it.

A little while later I saw this on my Facebook:

 

Cue the ugly cry.

I didn’t leave the house at all during the day, so I didn’t give too many people an opportunity to give me a hug.

At about 4:30 there was a knock on the door just as I was getting ready to go to swim practice. It was CCB’s mom.

She had gone for a run and stopped at the house.

“I wanted to give you a hug,” she said.

I was blown away.

We hugged. I cried.

She told me she had gone way outside of her comfort zone to run to my house. It wasn’t the normal route she ran every day.

Wow. 

You know how I feel about moving out of your comfort zone.

An hour or so later when I was at practice, a friend came out on the pool deck.

She gave me a big hug.

And then she said, “This is a big deal for me, because I don’t touch people.”

Wow! Again!!!

Someone doing something way out of their comfort zone for me. And someone inspired to do something out of their comfort zone because of me.

I was blown away again!

This morning after I dropped off Number 7 at school and was walking out of the building, the preschool director opened up her arms and gave me a hug.

That one caught me off guard, and I lost it.

About an hour later, I got a text from another friend:

If is wasn’t for you, I could not have owned up to our fiscal mistakes and started over. You sharing your story made me examine where we were and how unhappy I was.

Holy Shit.

Then another post on Facebook from another friend with a caption that read:

Susie, this is you!

There have been many more hugs and messages delivered to me since I published Monday’s post.

I feel incredibly lucky. And supported.

And while I never really set out to be an inspiration to people when I started writing this blog, I feel like that’s one of my main purposes here on this planet.

So that may have changed the direction of my presentation a little bit this weekend.

And I guess a big reason why I’m nervous is because I’ve had a dream for a while to be a motivational and inspirational speaker.

This could be a big opportunity for me. I know it’s not the only opportunity for me, but considering our current situation, I feel like really nailing it it could lead to bigger and life-changing things for me and my family in the near future.

When I go for a run, one of the songs I always listen to is Eminem’s Lose Yourself. I listen to that song over and over and over.

And over.

Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?

… All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can’t get by with my nine to
Five and I can’t provide the right type of
Life for my family ’cause man, these God damn food stamps don’t buy diapers…

Success is my only motherfuckin option… failure’s not.

I know. I’m not Eminem.

I mean, I’m white and I like to say fuck a lot, and I guess we were both on food stamps at one point so we’ve got that in common.

But yeah. Anyway…

Failure isn’t an option.

And I’m going to do my best to inspire the crap out of some Canadian moms on Saturday.

I’m nervous I’ll be so emotional that I’ll really just spend most of the time trying not to cry.

But I’m moving out of my comfort zone (and the country) and I’m gonna go for it.

If you live anywhere near Ottawa, come hang out with me for the day at the Mom Conference.

Come and be inspired.

Or at least entertained.

But hopefully both.

Who knows? It could be a life changing day for both of us.

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