So yesterday I wrote about how I had a parenting moment that I wasn’t exactly proud of.
I mean, it wasn’t like a Mommy Dearest moment.
But I wish I had gone about it differently.
I did apologize to the boys about it.
I did admit that I wished I had handled it differently.
I acknowledged that I made a mistake.
And that I will continue to make mistakes.
But that I will do my best to at least not make the same mistakes.
Anyway, someone commented on Facebook in response to yesterday’s post.
And she said, “It happens, Lady. They don’t come with instruction manuals.”
Well ain’t that the truth.
I spent about 6 hours yesterday beating myself up over the fact that I should have known better.
I mean, by the time you are one year into the seventh kid, you should have it all figured out, right?
So I wasted half a day “shoulding” on myself.
I should have done this.
I should have done that…
The experts say give children choices.
They throw out phrases like Use your words.
Use your inside voices.
Praise in public, reprimand in private.
Blah, fucking blah, blah, blah.
All that is just great after you have kids.
But you really need the advice before you have the kids.
Actually, screw the advice.
What you need is training.
Endurance training.
Iron man training.
Times a thousand.
You’ve heard those stories about an innocent person confessing to a crime he didn’t commit, just to make it all stop.
That is parenthood right there.
These fucking kids are relentless.
Like Chinese water torture.
They do not give up until you crack.
Until they find your breaking point.
Somehow a six-year-old knows the same high pressure psychological techniques as a 30 year veteran of the NYPD.
And therein lies the challenge of parenting.
Not giving in after the 10th, 50th, and 100th “Why Mommy?”
Standing strong during the second hour of hysterical crying.
And then not caving when they send in the reinforcements. When they tag team you…
Turning a deaf ear to the inevitable, “I hate you. I hate my life! I wish I was never born!”
But not just not caving.
Remaining calm.
Not swearing.
And not saying anything that will permanently scar your child…
That will put your daughter directly onto the stripper pole.
That is the challenge of parenting right there.
So forget Dr. Phil and his books.
Forget what the experts say about how to walk that fine line between discipline and compassison.
What you need is the Navy Seals.
And even that may not be enough.
But it’s a start.
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