Somewhere along life’s path something happens.
There is an invisible line that you cross. A switch that gets flipped.
And you inevitably go from semi-cool parent to really-cranky-old-person-who-forgets-the-first-seventy-five-years-of-your-life.
I’m really hoping I manage to avoid crossing this line.
But I know how I am now. I can’t remember what day it is most of the time.
And I know you can get a little forgetful when you get older.
So, as a reminder to myself, I have drawn this up:
The Senior Citizen Contract.
I am going to sign a copy myself and give one to each of the kids. In case a have a memory lapse.
You might want to do the same.
The Senior Citizen Contract
I, ______________________________, being of sound mind and body, do willfully sign this contact on the _______ day of _____________, 20__, and agree to ALL of the following terms and conditions upon the arrival of my 65th birthday:
1. I will never utter the words: When I was a parent, we didn’t have those. And our children came out fine.
2. When I see a young child in the grocery store having the world’s biggest meltdown, I WILL REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES THAT MY KIDS DID THE SAME EXACT THING. I will not stare. Or scowl. Or frown. Or shake my head.
I will smile. And say Hang in there, Mama. And leave it at that.
3. No matter how bad whatever the music that the young kids are listening to is, I will never say That’s not music. That’s noise.
4. When it is time to vote on the local education budget, I will remember that I was once a parent. And I was once a child. I will remember that the value of a town is based largely on the quality of its schools. And I will vote accordingly.
5. When someone tells me it it time to stop driving, I WILL STOP DRIVING.
_____________________________________
SIGNATURE
Put this in a safe spot, make copies, and distribute to all your family members should the time come that they need give you a reminder of the very important points in this contract.
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Yes! And especially # 4! Apparently when my grandpa was retired, and heard many of his peers complaining about school taxes, he used to say, “They paid for my kids, no it’s my turn.”
I can do all but #3. There’s music and there’s noise. I can’t listen to the noise…..
I was about 8 months pregnant and shopping with my then 4 year old. Who decided to throw the worlds biggest fit in the middle of Sears. I was dragging him out by his arm and this lady who had to have been mid to late 70’s looked at me and smiled. She had the look on her face like “been there, done that” I asked her if she wanted a free 4 year old. She looked at me and said “ohhhh….no dear.” I appreciated her because I had to walk thru the entire mall with a howling banshee….and the looks I got from other PARENTS? I wanted to stop and ask a couple of them wtf they were looking at…..