The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and in every room,

it looked like a bomb had exploded… KABOOM!

Decorations first hung by the chimney with care

now destroyed by the children who rambunctiously lived there.

The dishes were nestled all snug in the sink,

The laundry room full of dirty clothes that did stink.

Pots on the stove and a mess on the counter,

Mommy was braless, her kids all around her.

Nothing was perfect, everything messed,

Martha Stewart would have gone into cardiac arrest.

But the children were happy, and the home it was warm,

Snuggled in on the couch while the weather did storm.

The dinner was leftovers, nothing fancy or crazy,

And they ate in their pjs all comfy and lazy.

The children still bickered, they argued and fought,

Then reminded each other that they might get caught.

They rallied and cooperated, and then they thought twice,

remembering Santa, “We need to be nice!”

The cookies were from Pillsbury and not made of scratch,

but the kids had fun decorating every single batch.

Watching Rudolph with popcorn in front of the fire,

Soon it was time for the kids to retire.

A couple of stories and couple of songs,

they all were exhausted, it wouldn’t be long —

When upstairs in their bedrooms there arose such a clatter,

Mom sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

She flew up the stairs and threw open the door,

Where she found Six and Seven rolling around on the floor.

More rapid than eagles the other kids came,

And she gave them the death stare and called them by name —

“Number Seven, Number Six, Number Five, Four and Three!

Get your butts into bed… are you kidding me?

Close your eyes, not a word, not one single peep!

Santa will not come to our house if you don’t go to sleep!”

It took two more warnings till they started to snooze,

And Mom opened up a bottle of booze.

She went straight to work after a glass (or three),

And she placed all the presents neatly under the tree.

Then she grabbed her phone and some pictures she took,

And of course she posted them straight to Facebook.

“I should do one more thing, but I’m tired, I can’t.”

Instead she watches Love Actually and dreams of Hugh Grant.

And while not picture perfect, everything turned out all right.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.