The Momiform

I continue to remain about 25 pounds away from my goal weight.

I haven’t lost a pound in about 6 weeks. In fact, I think I’ve actually gained a couple pounds.

I want to blame it on something.

Like hormones.

Or genetics.

Or my thyroid.

Or your thyroid.

But really, since the triathalon, working out just hasn’t been at the top of the to-do list.

But eating has.

So that’s why I haven’t lost a pound.

And one of the ramifications of my failure to lose any weight is that I have nothing to wear.  Because I really don’t want to buy anything that has a number in the double digits on the tag.

So I pretty much wear the same thing every day… black yoga pants and a black hooded sweatshirt.

In fact, yesterday Number 4 said to me, “Mom?  Is that, like, your uniform?  Because you wear it every day.”

She’s right.  And it got me to thinking…

I take care of kids all day, every day.  I deal with blood and snot and puke and shit and flying food every waking minute.

Actually, most of the sleeping minutes, too.

Now since I do this with my own kids, Stacy and Clinton will have me believe that all of this should be performed in a stylish, tailored, yet “comfortable” ensemble.

But if I were, say, a nurse, and I did all that shit for someone else’s kids, well, then I would do it in scrubs.

In fact, I would be required to wear scrubs.

And when I see some chick (or the occasional dude) walking around the grocery store with scrubs on, I’m thinking Oh look at that kind, helpful, compassionate, caring, saint-of-a-person nurse, who just finished her shift. 

But when I see a regular woman shopping in the grocery store, wearing sweats — or worse — pajama pants — I’m thinking, Oh. What a shame. 

But unlike the nurse, the mom’s shift is never over.

Yeah.  So I want some fucking scrubs.

If I’m gonna walk around in public with crap all over my clothes, I at least want some respect while I’m doing it.

And if people will buy Aah Bras, and Snuggies, and Pajama Jeans, well, then I believe I’ve got a money maker with the Mom Scrubs.

So to ensure delivery by Christmas, place your orders now.  😉

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