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Take that, Common Core.

September 25, 2014 by not your average mom 10 Comments

I had a therapy appointment today, and my mom babysat while I was gone.

When I got home, she was sitting on the couch working on a math menu problem with Number 4.

My mom took one look at me and said,

“Kill me now.”

Number 4 was running out of patience.

“MOM!!! IT SAYS I HAVE TO CHANGE MY NAME AND WRITE A LETTER AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND AND NEITHER DOES GRAMMY!!!”

I looked at the problem:

math menu codependency

You have got to be kidding me.

I told Number 4 I would help her out.

But I didn’t really have the patience to try to explain this to her or to do it with her.

So I just wrote the fucking letter myself.

Here is what it said:

Dear Subtraction,

We have been friends for a long time.

I just want you to know how much I appreciate your friendship.

And how much I admire your strength.

Being positive comes so easily for me.

Living in my shadow, knowing that I will always make friends with other kids way before you will probably sucks.

No wonder you are always negative.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be, constantly being referred to as less than, and everyone always pointing out your differences.

That can’t do much for your self-esteem.

Having things taken away, over and over and over again must be incredibly demoralizing.

So I want you to know that I love you.

Very much.

We will always be part of the same family.

But you don’t need me to survive.

This codependent relationship the teacher is trying to force us to admit to is unhealthy.

You and your three numbers, like me, are a complete equation in and of yourself.

And no one will ever be able to take that away from you.

Love,

Your BFF, Addition

 

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Filed Under: Your Daily Dose Tagged With: codependent relationships, Common core, math menu

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robin says

    September 26, 2014 at 12:13 am

    Awesome replay!

    Reply
  2. Joanna Norland says

    September 26, 2014 at 5:45 am

    this is utterly brilliant. Do you do creative writing – outside of your blog, which is very creative? I’m sensing the next bridget jones publishing sensation in embryo…

    Reply
  3. Irene C. says

    September 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    AWESOME!!!! So glad my daughter did not “pick” that one on the math menu.

    Reply
  4. Tricia says

    September 26, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Love it…wish i could tap into that creativity for my kids. Am really enjoying your blog – thank you!

    Reply
  5. Michelle says

    September 26, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    You totally crack me up! Great response! Ha!

    Reply
  6. Alice says

    September 26, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Bravo!

    Reply
  7. Ellen says

    September 26, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    This was hilarious! Thanks! I needed this after the week I’m having.

    Reply
  8. Naureen says

    September 26, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Holy Crap Wow what an awesome response.. and what a messed up homework assignment for a Kid. I bet college kids might flunk this stupid assignment.

    Reply
  9. Linda Jones says

    September 27, 2014 at 1:05 am

    Wow, that assignment makes no sense at all but you crafted a brilliantly creative response! I’ve heard many negative things about Common Core and this is an example of its absurdity.

    Reply
  10. Robin Bobo says

    September 28, 2014 at 1:38 am

    LOL… The teacher in me know exactly what this is asking, but the mom in me is saying …wth?? You don’t send stuff like this home for parents to try and interpret!

    Reply

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