I don’t know if you remember, but Number 7’s first day of preschool did not go so well.
It was so bad that I thought maybe I should pull her out.
But I know what her personality is like.
If I gave in to that, I’d just be reinforcing her behavior.
Then she’d really be a nightmare.
So I stuck it out.
I’d give it a few weeks.
After the first week, I asked Number 7’s teacher if she could bring her blankie to school.
She really does use it to self-soothe.
I thought it might help her.
And her teachers.
I know how annoying it is to listen to her bawl.
And she can do that for a long, long time.
Then, I came up with a plan.
I told her if she made it through the whole day without crying, that I’d get her a treat after school.
Usually the treat was just a lollipop.
And it worked very well.
For three consecutive days, there was no crying.
Then the fourth day, she lost it.
I brought her into the classroom and she started immediately bawling.
Like hysterically.
Now the procedure for the kids is that they come into the classroom and wash their hands.
Then they find a seat and start working on a morning activity, like playdough or stickers or something.
Our normal routine is that I watch her wash her hands, then give her a kiss and a hug and then knuckles and then a double high five, and then I leave.
Well, on this day that she lost it out of nowhere, I couldn’t even do the normal routine.
She was so out of control that I just left while one of the teachers basically prevented her from bolting out of the classroom.
When I came back to get her three hours later, she was fine.
I asked her why she cried when I dropped her off, and she told me “Because I was the only one in the classroom.”
Okay.
I made a mental note to never again be the first person into the room.
And then she asked me for her treat.
Shit.
The rule was that she only got a treat if she didn’t cry at all.
She had rallied and pulled herself together, but the drop off was really, really bad.
So I told her no.
And then there were more hysterics.
I felt terrible.
But if I caved, then I’d be in trouble, and the reward would really become a joke.
She basically cried herself to sleep over that.
But I had made my point, and the next time we went to school, she did great.
And then the next day. And the next day.
She was doing so well, I upped the ante.
I told her the only way she’d get a treat was if she went to school without her blankie.
And she killed it.
No blankie.
No crying.
I was so proud of her.
She’s doing so well, and she loves school.
In fact, in September, she cried on the days I told her we had to go to school.
Now?
Now she cries on the days she doesn’t have school.
And that is something worth celebrating.
Leave a Reply