Sometimes you just gotta say…

As a forty-five-year-old mom to seven, I have made lots of mistakes. I’ve learned lots of lessons.

At this point, I pretty much know what I need to do. I know what works.

And I think I’m like half way to a nursing degree.

I can pretty accurately diagnose croup and strep. I can distinguish between poison ivy and impetigo and exzema and a few other types of rashes.

I’m still learning new things, though.

Number 5 has been having some issues, and I thought she had a UTI. She was feeling the need to pee all the time, but nothing was coming out.

I couldn’t get a doctor’s appointment last week, so I took her to the walk in clinic,  where they took a urine sample, and tested it.

But it came back totally clean. No issues.

Two weeks later, she’s still having problems.

But she’s only 5. It’s hard for her to really explain how she feels or have enough of a concept of time to answer questions accurately.

So today I took her to the pediatrician’s office. The nurse practitioner was checking her out and pressing on her stomach.

Number 5 was a little ticklish, and the NP was having a hard time feeling for whatever she was feeling for.

Before we left, she had a doctor come in and check her out for a second opinion.

As soon as she pressed her fingers on Number 5’s stomach she said, “Oh! There’s poop in there!”

I had no idea that one of the things doctors are doing when they are feeling around on your kids’ bellies is checking for backed up poop.

So anyway, it appears that Number 5 is constipated, and her backed up poop is putting pressure on her bladder. And that is making her feel like she has to pee all the time.

There’s your medical lesson of the day.

Anyway, that’s not really the point of my story.

The point of my story is this:

I know I don’t know everything, but I know a lot.

I know what things I’m supposed to be doing.

I know what makes my life easier.

And I know what makes it harder.

I just gave a talk on Monday night where I emphasized the importance of being consistent. And how there is no easy button.

I described how I have routines set up and how I have expectations and how I follow through and all that.

This morning at breakfast, Number 5 was being really annoying.

So annoying, that Number 3 couldn’t take it, told her to shut up multiple times, and then he slapped her on the leg. Hard.

She started bawling.

I sent Number 3 to his room.

At the same time, Number 4 was singing and she wouldn’t stop.

Number 7 was cold and demanding a blanket, repeatedly. Like over and over and over again.

When I told her I wouldn’t get one, she asked if she could take her oatmeal up into her bed.

I told her no.

She started crying and yelling “STUPID MOMMY! STUPID MOMMY! STUPID MOMMY!”

Over and over and over again.

Number 6 wanted milk in a water bottle. I told him he had to go get the water bottle that he had left in his room.

He refused and started bawling because he was “too tired to walk upstairs.”

So Number 5 was bawling.

Number 6 was bawling.

Number 4 would not stop fucking singing.

And Number 7 was calling me a stupid mommy on repeat.

I found a water bottle and gave it to Number 6 even though I had told him I wouldn’t do it.

I gave Number 4 her breakfast even though I had told her she couldn’t eat if she didn’t stop singing and she just kept going.

Same with Number 5. She was still crying. Sure, Number 3 had whacked her on the leg, but she was fine. I should have told her she could have her breakfast when she stopped crying.

But I didn’t. I just gave it to her so she would shut the hell up.

And then, when Number 7 looked right at me and yelled,  “I. AM. JUST. TAKING. MY. OATMEAL. TO. MY. ROOM. STUPID MOMMY!” I should have stopped her.

But instead, I just watched her march upstairs with a bowl of oatmeal in one hand and a glass full of smoothie in the other hand, happy that there was one less kid screaming at me.

And I let her eat it in her bed.

I had a morning full of empty threats and void of follow throughs and consistency.

I know I didn’t help my cause.

It was a one step forward, two steps back kind of day.

But I just didn’t have it in me.

Some days go well. Sometimes you have the strength to do all the right things.

But…

 

And today was one of those days.

Thank you for making me Number 1!

Please keep voting!

Click on the banner below and you have registered your vote for me!