Some Stains Require More Scrubbing Than Others

A couple days ago I got this message from a reader:

Susie- Have you ever taken an anti depressant or anti anxiety medication? My doctor suggested I take some, just curious how they make you feel. I would love be rid of the anxiety, but I don’t want to be numb and not feel joy….

First, let me make sure I am crystal clear,

I’m not a doctor.

This is just my personal opinion based on years of experience.

I am not anti-medication.

At all.

I have taken quite a bit of it.

But I also don’t want to put things into my body if I don’t need to, especially if there are other alternatives, and I have been medication-free for about 2 years.

I think depression can be compared to a stain on a t-shirt.

Some stains are harder to get out than others.

Some stains have had years to soak in.

Others are fairly fresh and easier to get out.

The amount of pretreating and soaking and scrubbing you have to do depends upon two things: the color of the shirt and the amount of time the stain has been there.

Some people are like a white t-shirt and they stain very easily.

Others are a black shirt. They can take a lot of spills before anything leaves a mark.

Some peoples’ depression is a blob of ketchup on a black shirt.

It’s pretty easy to get it out with minimal work.

Then there is the depression that is a ketchup stain on a white shirt.

Even if you get it quickly you have to do a decent amount of scrubbing.

And if the white shirt has sat crumpled in a pile, unwashed, and that ketchup stain has had a long time to soak in, it will take lots of pretreating and soaking and scrubbing to get it clean.

That was me about ten years ago.

I was that stained white shirt that was lost under the bed for a couple months.

Or years.

I needed quite a bit of pretreatment and soaking and scrubbing to eliminate that stain.

When I received my initial diagnosis of major depressive disorder, when I was crying almost constantly, had lost about fifteen pounds without trying, and hadn’t slept in months, I needed medication.

And it took a couple tries to get the right ones.

None of the medication I have taken for depression ever numbed me.

Well, not in the brain area, anyway.

But in the vagina area it did.

It didn’t turn me into a zombie, but it did render me unable to have an orgasm.

I didn’t care for that.

I took myself right off of medication.

But the ketchup stain hadn’t faded much at all.

I still needed lots of soaking before that stain was going anywhere.

So I tried a different laundry detergent.

And the second one was much more effective at getting the stain out without producing any other side effects.

I could still enjoy sex.

I soaked and scrubbed the shit out of my brain to get that depression stain out.

And then as the stain started to fade, I didn’t have to scrub so hard.

I was able to think a little more clearly.

And I started taking better care of that white shirt.

Rather than throwing it in a pile, or wearing it multiple times before I put it in the laundry, I washed it regularly.

I didn’t have to use so much detergent.

I started exercising, and I started eating foods that helped my brain produce serotonin, that “feel good” chemical you produce naturally when you get that runner’s high.

Eventually I didn’t need to take medication to maintain those serotonin levels.

I got rid of the stain altogether.

Some people never get rid of the stain.

They may need medication forever.

And I know I could need it again at some point in the future.

If I decide to be sloppy and reckless while I am eating a hamburger and wearing my white shirt, then there is a good chance I will get another stain on it.

A potentially big one.

It could require some serious stain fighters.

If I have to do some extra scrubbing, I will.

But I am doing my best to take really good care of my favorite white shirt and keep it stain free for as long as I possibly can.