I got an iPad last December.
I thought I would spend a lot of time on it, doing work for the blog.
In reality, I was spending most of my time tracking down which kid had gotten a hold of it, charging it back up after one of them had completely run down the battery, and deleting about 428 selfies.
It doesn’t really matter where I hide it.
They can track it down.
So we got Number 4 a Kindle Fire for her birthday.
Actually, my parents got it for her.
She was very excited.
So was I.
Now I’d be able to reclaim a little more of my iPad.
And now, my life would become a little easier.
So at 8 pm the night of her birthday, when things had settled down, and my parents had gone home, and my husband was putting Number 6 and 7 to bed, Number 4 took her new Kindle into her room.
Ahhhhhhh.
It had been a crazy day.
I’d get some work done in the office for about a half hour while she played with her birthday present.
8:01 pm : MOM! I need to register this! HOW THE HECK DO I REGISTER THIS THING???
Ugh.
8:02 pm: “Bring it in here. I’ll do it.”
8:03 pm: First attempt to log in to Amazon.
There was an error with your Email/Password combination. Please try again.
8:04 pm: Second attempt to log in to Amazon.
There was an error with your Email/Password combination. Please try again.
8:05 pm: Third attempt to log in to Amazon.
There was an error with your Email/Password combination. Please try again.
Fuck.
8:08 pm: Successfully logged into Amazon.
8:10 pm: “MOM?!?! How do I download the Netflix app?”
Ugh.
8:11 pm: First attempt to log in to Netflix.
The login information you entered does not match an account in our records. Remember, your password is case-sensitive.
8:12 pm: Second attempt to log in to Netflix.
The login information you entered does not match an account in our records. Remember, your password is case-sensitive.
8:16 pm: Successfully logged in to Netflix.
8:20 pm: “MOM! NUMBER 5 WON’T GET OUT OF MY BED! I DON’T WANT HER LOOKING AT MY KINDLE!”
8:20 -8:30 pm: Level 10, Code Red Meltdown from Number 5.
8:30 pm: Tell Number 4 to plug in Kindle and let it charge for the night.
8:31 pm: “MOM??? DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY CHARGER IS???”
Oh. My. God.
9:30 pm: Confiscation of Kindle when I find Number 4 playing with it in her bed.
Day 2
6:04 am: “MOM??? CAN I HAVE MY KINDLE BACK NOW?”
You have got to be kidding me.
6:05 am: “Get back into bed.”
8:30 am: Drop Number 4 off at school. Thank God.
3:40 pm: Number 4 gets off bus. “MOM??? WHERE IS MY KINDLE???”
Kill me now.
3:41 pm: “You can use your Kindle tonight after you’ve gotten home from practice, your room is clean, and your homework is finished.”
7:55 pm: “MOM??? I FINISHED ALL MY STUFF! CAN I HAVE MY KINDLE NOW?”
7:56 pm: Give Number 4 her fucking Kindle.
7:57 pm: “MOM??? MY KINDLE ISN’T CHARGED! WHY ISN’T MY KINDLE CHARGED??? MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM???”
Motherfucker.
8:30 pm: Confiscation of Kindle. I learned my lesson the night before.
Day 3
8:30: “MOM??? CAN I TAKE MY KINDLE TO NUMBER 3’S BASEBALL GAME???”
“Yes. But you need to keep track of it.”
10:22 am: “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!! NUMBER 7 BROKE MY KINDLE! NUBMER 7 BROKE MY KINDLE! NUMBER 7 BROOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKE. MMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. KINDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!”
10:23 am – 12:02 pm: Pretend not to know who Number 4 is.
12:30 pm: Get home from baseball game.
12:30:01: “MOM! CAN YOU FIX MY KINDLE? CAN YOU FIX MY KINDLE? CAN YOU FIX MY KINDLE? CANYOUFIXMYKINDLEMOM???”
Fuck it.
12:31 pm: “Here’s my iPad.”
PLEASE CLICK THIS BANNER TO KEEP ME AT NUMBER ONE!
One click on the banner = one vote! THANK YOU!!!
How in the hell can you afford to get these kids all these expensive electronic crap?
You must not have read very carefully… Grammy and Papa bought it for her 🙂
What a lovely present for mum!!! 🙂 Did you said THANK YOU to your parenst??
With the new update, they can take time lapse video.
I came home from a party tonight with the other PTO moms, and found, I kid you not, 38 time lapse videos on the iPad that my 8 year old took in my bathroom. How did the other six kids and my husband leave him alone so long? I have no idea.
I just shook my damn head and deleted them, and then thanked my lucky stars he was doing that instead of using my makeup.
I feel your pain. When I first got my iPad, I managed to (literally) hide it from my kids for two whole weeks; they didn’t even know it existed. Those two weeks were AMAZING (even if I was using the iPad mostly in the middle of the night, under the cover of darkness). The third week, my 4 year old caught me surfing the web on it and it was all downhill from there. Now it’s not so much my iPad as it is theirs.