Potty training.
I fucking hate it.
Number 7 isn’t 2 yet, so it’s still acceptable for her to be in diapers.
But Number 6 turned three years old in June. He’s in preschool. He’s supposed to be potty trained.
He’s got the peeing down.
The pooping, not so much.
He still thinks the poop will only come out if he’s wearing a pull up.
And he finds those mothereffers and puts them on by himself.
No matter where I put them. No matter how high I put them.
Kind of like the maxi pads.
I’ve tried just about everything short of duct taping the potty to his ass until he takes a dump in the effing thing.
I’ve given him books to read, a DS to play, I’ve tried to entice him with M&M’s, ice cream, chocolate chips, stickers, world peace, the meaning of life…
Nothing has worked.
I was talking to a friend last week about my predicament.
She suggested that I stop changing his diaper. Make him clean his crap up by himself.
So, that’s what I did.
He wasn’t too psyched when I told him I would no longer be taking any shit from him.
I stayed in the bathroom with him.
He emptied out the pull up.
He cried.
He whined.
He wiped his own ass.
Yes.
I had finally broken him.
When he was all finished, he looked at me.
“Mommy?”
I waited with anticipation for his next words. It had finally clicked. He’d never crap in his own pants again!
“Mommy?
That was…
FUN!“
Fuck.
So much for that strategy.
This is one determined and stubborn kid.
One thing’s for sure…
He must get that shit from his father.
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My son shit his pants every day until he was 4. I tried EVERYTHING. He didn’t grab a pull up, though, he just crapped in his underwear. He had been pee trained since three, but if there was a pull up around, he used it as an excuse not to pee in the potty, either. So every day for about a year, I cleaned poppy out of big boy underwear. I also had a to care for my one year old throughout this whole process, so he would strategically wait to poop while I was preoccupied feeding, changing or putting her to sleep. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was so frustrating. Then, at his 4th birthday party, his Aunt walked into a room where my son had gone to hide behind a chair and drop a load in his drawers. She loudly said, “Oh my god, what is that smell?” having no clue my son was in there or what he was up to. Apparently a little embarrassment was all he needed, cause he ran crying to his bedroom. I followed him up there to clean him, and as I did, he said to me, “Mommy, I am a big boy. I DO know how to use the potty.” And from that day on, he’s never had an accident again. I know I don’t need to tell you this, but Number 6 will do “Number 2” eventually, but in the mean time, I feel your pain!
Can you please send your sister up here to publicly humiliate Number 6 too?
Sure! My sisters are awesome at public humiliation. It’s like a hobby for them 😉
My #2 was the same way…he started 4 yr old preschool still pooping ONLY WHEN HE WAS ASLEEP! only then. never awake. had to wear a pullup at nap time and bedtime or I was cleaning poop out of underwear every time. his 3 yr old sister was already housebroken….he didn’t care.) He was suppose to be potty trained to start school…I explained the situation, and with professional courtesy (he went to the school I taught at) the pre-k teacher accepted him anyway. BUT…within 2 weeks he was “cured”…having to put on the pullup at naptime at school…other kids seeing/knowing/teasing…it worked. And I was the happiest mom ever! (
World Peace would have worked for me.
Susie, it seems like a “comfort thing.” The toilet bowl is a “cold, hard world.” I wonder if there is a way to replicate a “comfort situation” for him in the bathroom. Like maybe, assign one bathroom that’s just for him ( I know, I know, 7 kids, limited bathrooms, …) just for the time frame until he’s potty trained and put some of his most comforting things around the toilet. Is there an older brother that Number 6 adores? Maybe have the older brother talk with him (kindly) to encourage him to be a “big boy” like him. What do I know, I have cats!!!!
You made my morning. I just about spit my coffee out my nose reading this. Hang in there. My son was 4 before he decided it was time to actually go in the potty.
My dad sat my 4 year old sister on the toilet for a whole weekend. She was only allowed to get up to eat and sleep. It DID work, but it was terrible to witness.
Whoa. I don’t have it in me to do that…
My coworker used cold showers. Her 4 year old boy kept pooping in his pants and she finally told him that just like cold water in the washing machine gets the poop out of the clothes it would take cold water from the shower to get the poop off him. After only 2 cold showers he was cured! Lots of luck!
Wow. That’s hard core. If I wrote a post saying I did that, I’d be dismembered.
Although I’m filing that away if things get really desperate…
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
I am so relieved to see others dealing with the same problem I have! My son will be 4 the end of October and I have been battling this for almost a year! He screams at me and hides when I try to make him use the toilet and he will go for days without going to the bathroom and then it hurts to do so! I’m starting him on Miralax to get rid of the “holding it til it hurts” dilemma as recommended by my pediatrician, but I am just at my wits end and don’t think I have much hair left in my head to pull out! I have tried all types of bribery, punishment, sticker charts, etc. and he just blatantly doesn’t care! I haven’t done the cold shower technique but think that is a solid option for our next clean up time…but wait, didn’t a mother get taken to jail for forcing her son to take cold showers as a punishment??? Maybe, I should threaten my son with the jail time for not pooping in the potty….anyone know any cops that can scare the shit out of him for me???? 😛
No pun intended 😉
Be careful with the miralax! My girlfriend has same issue with 3.5 yo and she gave her a tiny bit and was cleaning up diarrhea for six hours all over the house (daughter wouldn’t put on pull up or undies). :/
This cracked me up! I only have one little one right now but he has been potty trained for a few months now – he took to it like a fish to water. But now he has started peeing and pooping in his pants again. And doesn’t seem to care!!! I don’t know what to do with him at this point but its good to know that someone else has these problems too! Thanks for sharing, I love your blog!
yeah we are in the midst right now. The 2 year old (who is almost 3) told me that she wont use the potty (on a regular every time basis), that she did not WANT to use the potty. I asked her why she didnt/wouldnt. She told me “I just dont”….I have yet to find her currency (although my dad did bring me some vintage barbies and she told me she wanted a barbie and I told her that she couldnt have one until she decided to go to the potty on the toilet…to which she raced to the bathroom and actually went….
Whoever said girls are easier than boys to potty train was smoking some herb……
have I ever mentioned how my son failed to prepare me for parenthood? ….that child was the easiest most compliant child ever…potty training was a breeze. It only took me offering to take him to Toys R Us to buy him anything he wanted to get that child to insantly (as in that day….) potty trained. It cost me $9.99 plus tax.
I am totally with you. My youngest will be 4 in January and he pretty much only poops in his underwear or a pull up. I have gotten lucky and caught him in the act and got him in the toilet in time but that is training me not him lol. I have days where I just admit defeat he has told me he does not want to poop on the toilet and he is stubborn so I am hoping if I am not pushing so much he will change his mind. Cause my next step is duct taping him to the toilet so hopefully we don’t have to go there. Some days you just need a day off you never get lol
Maybe I’m a terrible mother, but I decided to take back control of where and when my son pooped (he was doing the same thing your son does) when he was 3 1/2 years old. I inserted a baby suppository and then sat him on the potty. He couldn’t help it…plop…out came the poop, into the toilet. Then he got a prize. I did it every day for a week. It worked.
Sandy……unless you actually harmed your child, you are not a “terrible mother” Please stop drinking the kool-aid that there is a “correct” way and an “incorrect” way to parent…..
(although there IS an incorrect way to parent….which involves abuse and neglect….but that’s not what Im talking about)
My son was the very same way. He was “supposed” to be fully potty-trained before he could go to preschool- and he was, for peeing anyway. I stopped buying him pullups when he was about 3 yrs old because he wouldn’t even TRY to use the potty. He didn’t like sitting in wet pants- yet he wouldn’t mind sitting in crap for awhile (I still don’t get that). I think the thing that triggered his fear of pooping was one of the first times he was on the potty pooping, it was really hard and big from him not going for almost 3 days, from holding it in.. he was crying the whole time. From then on, it was no-go. For his entire 4th year, he crapped in his pants every 2-3 days.. he’d hide, he’d tell us he’s going to “play with his friends” in his room, close the door and go poop in his pants, or we’d find him somewhere out of sight, crossing and clenching his legs so tight you could see how bad it hurt him. Finally, we did the suppository thing. Once. He hated that so much, that all I had to do was put one in sight and he’d freak out and sit on the potty. We’d sit with him in the bathroom for 30-45 minutes at a time, without any results, then he’d get up and within minutes, he’d have gone in his pants again. Finally, about 3 weeks before he turned 5, he got backed up really bad. He looked like he was going to pass out, so I brought him to the dr because I had no idea what else to do. She sat him down and explained that he had to poop or his tummy was going to hurt a lot more, and that he has to eat all his fruits and veggies and all that. I’m not sure if it was just someone else explaining to him what had to happen, or what.. but we gave him the PediaLax tablets that night to clean him out, then 2 days after that.. he started using the potty to poop. Like clockwork. He now goes 1-2 times daily, and gets all excited and calls us in to see it. Of course we go in just about every time. Its been 5 months and all I can say is that it was the worst year of his life.. but we got thru it. Eventually. Here’s to praying my 2 yr old daughter is easier!!!
actually, now that I think about it.. it wasn’t PediaLax tablets that last time, but liquid colace. He was supposed to take 5ml once a day prescribed by the dr.. after that first dose, he wouldn’t open his mouth to take it. That may have been the trigger, more than the dr’s speech. 🙂 he didnt want to take it anymore.
I am going currently potty training my soon-to-be 3 year old twins. They go to daycare, which really helps with the training. Twin A is doing well. Twin B is a different story. Twin B is doing “awesome” in daycare with potty training. She has an accident occasionally, but overall doing well. BUT…she will not pee or poop at home. She will go into the closet, pull off her underwear, put on a pull up and pee/poop in it. She has used the toilet at Burger King, Costco and Friendly’s, but she will not use the toilet at home. It drives me NUTS. I try to put her on the toilet, but she locks up in a stiff position and screams …”No, thank you. No, thank you.” I don’t know what to do anymore.
Well at least she’s polite about it 😉
Hi, Irene. I’m sure not claiming to have any of the answers, but is it possible that she’s afraid of the water in the potty. When my daughter (now 8) got old enough to explain things to us, she said that lots of little kids think that they will fall down into the potty. My own daughter still hates the sound of the toilet flushing. Do you think that a smaller, potty chair-type thing might help? I send you my best wishes. We all go through shades of the same problems.
have you asked her what is different about the toilets? (what she is afraid of?) Maybe there is something in/on/around your toilet at home that gives her the heebie-jeebies.
Mine wont use the “real” toilet at all. Not at home, not at school, not at burger king. She will only use the small plastic pink potty at home….and only if I suggest it or after she has gone in her diaper (which is a new turn of events. Yesterday she went in her diaper and every time pulled off her pants and said “I have to go potty”….)
dangit…..that reply was supposed to be for Irene C.
Thanks for the feedback Jennifer and Deanna. I wanted to give you an update…while Twin A was doing her business the other night on the regular toilet and I asked Twin B if she wanted to go on the green/kid potty. She told me “No.” I asked her if she was afraid and she said “Yes.” I told her I would hold her hand while she went and guess what.. she peed in the green potty. Then the next night, we were playing in the yard, and she said “I have to go potty.(while grabbing herself) We ran inside and she peed on the regular toilet. YEAH…we are making progress. She still wants to poop in the diaper, but I will deal with that later.
Thanks again ladies!