I still don’t totally know how to use my iPad.
But I know how to use it to shut my kids up.
They would stare at that thing and play games on it all day long if I allowed them to.
I used to sit in judgement of parents who bought children under the age of sixteen their own iPad.
But now I completely understand.
That iPad is a better babysitter than even the television.
So if I don’t need it, I happily let the kids play with it.
I downloaded a couple free games for Numbers 5 and 6.
They love them, and they haven’t gotten tired of them yet.
Numbers 3 and 4 also love the iPad.
They have used them in school, and know their way around one way better than I do.
In fact, Numbers 3 and 4 introduced me to Siri.
I had no idea who she was.
She is some sort of personal assistant who lives in your iPad.
You can ask her just about anything.
Number 3 and 4 like to amuse themselves by asking Siri questions and attempting to have conversations with her.
Where do you live?
Are you from Vegas?
When they realized that Siri talked back, they really started interrogating her.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Do you have a family?
I’ve got you, she replied. That’s all the family I need.
Ha. Siri has a sense of humor.
You are very funny, they told her.
I was always meant to be funny, she answered back.
The other day they were having fun with Siri, and I went to the kitchen for a minute.
As I was leaving, I heard Siri say, I didn’t quite get that.
I came back into the playroom to the sound of Siri’s voice saying,
I have compiled a list of 100 pornos for you.
Oh. My. God.
I don’t know what they asked her.
It doesn’t really matter.
“MOM! WHAT’S A PORNO???” yelled Number 4.
I yanked that iPad right out of their hands.
“No more talking to Siri,” I told the two of them. “She’s a bad influence.”
So much for the new babysitter.
Now where’s that remote?
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Ha! I tried that with my lap top and my daughter ended up on a porno site. Luckily, I was there as it appeared on screen and shut it before she had even realized what was going on. Now if I could only figure out how to put parental controls on these devices!