Today was Number 5’s “Portfolio Day” at preschool.
It’s like the biggest day of the year for the 4-year-olds.
And I totally forgot about it.
When we pulled into the parking lot at school, Number 5 looked at all the little girls in her class who were also walking into the building.
“Mommy? Why do all the girls want to look so pretty?” she asked me.
I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.
We left the house in a rush and Number 6 walked out to the car barefoot.
I had just thrown his sneakers into the front seat. I’d put them on when we got to school.
So I was trying to jam his feet into his sneakers and I was distracted.
When I finished tying his shoes, I looked around at all the girls walking into school.
They were all wearing dresses.
Shit.
Dresses. Why are they all wearing dresses?
SHIT!
Portfolio Day.
Fucking. Portfolio. Day.
I forgot all about it.
I had just told my husband a day or two ago that I thought it was next week.
Oops.
I guess it was this week.
I texted him.
I messed up. Portfolio Day is today at 10:45…
I had to rearrange my morning.
A big inconvenience, but not that big of a deal.
Although the fact that I was the Room Mom and hadn’t bought a gift for the teachers sort of was.
Plus, the last time I went to Portfolio Day was for Number 4.
That was the day one of her teachers told me the story of how Number 4 had filled up her nether regions with sand.
And then announced it to her whole entire Lutheran Preschool class.
I did not want to be that forgetful, shitty mom.
I mean, the title of Mother of the Daughter With A Vagina Full of Sand is enough.
So I rushed to Lowes, bought 3 hydrangeas, and made it back to Portfolio Day on time.
Thankfully, my husband was able to make it there, too.
We watched Number 5 sing Hello, and Dem Bones, and Skinamarinky Dinky Dink.
Then, she showed us her portfolio.
The work inside was, as expected, very cute.
This was my favorite:
Then, we ate some ice cream.
It started out rough, but it all worked out.
We had a nice time.
And not a grain of sand was in (or out) of sight.
Number 1! Please keep me there!
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