Last weekend I posted this on the facebook page: Tonight is a screw-the-teeth-brushing-get-y
And someone left this comment:
ooookay. What brought that on?
I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that…
That ooookay, with 4 o’s, kind of left me with a feeling of disapproval.
And the “what brought that on?” gave me the impression that, according to the commenter, it should have been something really major to warrant not brushing the teeth.
Something maaaajor.
With 4 a’s.
Well.
It wasn’t.
I was just tired.
Really fucking tired.
Tiiiired. Wiped out. Done.
I know letting the kids skip the teeth brushing at night isn’t the healthiest practice.
But you know what?
Sometimes I just don’t give a shit.
And I know a lot of other people don’t either.
A lot of us have those nights.
AAAA loooot of us.
But we don’t say anything for fear of the disapproval. And judgement. And okay’s.
With 4 O’s.
But sometimes the only goal is just keeping the kids alive.
For me, anyway.
So, just to make you feel better, I thought I’d let you know some of the other things I do.
Or don’t do.
That I’m supposed to do.
Or not supposed to do.
You know.
If I’m a good mom.
A gooood mom…
1. I don’t give my kids a bath every night.
Sometimes not even every other night.
If they don’t smell and there is no visible dirt, then they pass the clean test.
Or at least the clean enough test.
2. I don’t brush my girls’ hair every night. Or morning.
There’s a reason why God invented ponytail holders.
And headbands.
3. Most of the kids almost never wear matching socks to school.
I’m happy if they’ve got two socks and underpants on.
4. My kids have been known to eat stuff off the floor.
Cheerios.
Crackers.
Cheese.
Whatever.
Until we have a dog again, I probably won’t stop them.
Actually, even if we do get a dog, I might not even stop them then.
5. I change the sheets way less often than I should.
Like only if there is pee, or poop, or puke on them.
And sometimes I cover up the pee with a towel, and wait until the morning.
6. My kids have eaten Cheez-Its for breakfast.
And lunch.
And dinner.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make my kids a bowl of goldfish for breakfast.
YES! I really-honest-to-goodness, thought I was the only one who skipped bath time and teeth brushing occasionally. Thank goodness, I’m not! Thank you!
OMG I was nodding my head at every single one of those. Good to know I’m not the only one.
Wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post and your honesty. I love reading your blog. You are amazing for all that you do and accomplish. I Think you should write a book. I sure enjoy reading your posts, but I think you could produce one heck of a “mommy manual”!! Thanks again for sharing your lifes ups and downs and letting me know that many things I do and don’t do are okay and really do happen in other homes!!
OMG! I could have hit “Like” a million times on this post. I’m glad I’m not the only one who does ALL OF THIS SHIZ!!!!!
My 20 month old daughter gets a bath every third day, sometimes fourth day. This morning I realized she hadn’t had one since Sunday and after she covered herself in yogurt, I just brought her into the shower with me and called it done. I do have dogs, and figure if there’s food on the floor, it’s first come. Sometimes she is feeling generous and will let one of the dogs have a bite of her cracker before she continues to eat it. Sometimes, one of them will take advantage of a spoon hanging from her hand and lick it, then she’ll continue eating her meal. One of her favorite things to do is run around the house with a wet wipe or paper towel cleaning the floor (I have no idea why this is so fascinating but I’m certainly not going to stop it) and will wipe the floor, followed by wiping her face with the same towel. Sometimes it’s just not worth the battle and a few extra germs or dirt isn’t going to hurt. I’m pretty sure if I had seven kids, I’d be lining up the kid food bowls on the floor next to the dog food bowls so that all of it can be cleaned up at once, with a hose.
I am right there with you! All of the above applies at our house too!
BP (before puberty) gets a bath when they are stinky, sticky (we live in the south with the humidity)or visibly dirty. AP (after puberty) takes a shower, washes hair, cleans face & brushes teeth EVERY day. (those teenagers can be judgemental a-holes)
Breakfast – 3 & under = whatever they can find in their car seat (cheerios, goldfish, half chewed gummies) 4 & older = cereal’s in the cabinet, milk’s in the fridge.
I buy shoes that you don’t have to wear socks with.
My son threw up in my bed about a week ago, got puke on the fitted sheet near the foot of the bed. There is still a blanket over the little pukey spot.
I’m not a bad mom…just a tired one.
I have totally written a blog similar to this. Something like “10 Reasons I’m a Terrible Mother” or something like that.
And that was shortly after my 2 year old was born, so I didn’t even get to add “Feed my child snacks instead of an actual lunch/dinner” lol
Most of those definitely apply to me (I don’t have a girl, so I don’t have to worry about brushing… ever… haha)
Mine was totally worse than even this, though. The list included having two cats (for some odd reason, that was a bad thing to have around an infant) and bottle feeding (due to being unable to do the other thing). Oh! And I have a leash for my child.
Im so glad you posted this!!! I do all of the same things and hey my kiddies are still alive, happy healthy and I still have my sanity : )
Ok, I want to say THANK all of you for posting! Because I really felt like I was the only one other than crack heads doing this LOL! My house looks like a crack house most days because I can’t put all the clothes away and I have boxes all over, and after the economy fall I sold all my furniture so we have but one sofa, tv on the floor, no other seating. Broken bed boards under the matresses. (but at least the beds look good and I didn’t sell them) haha. I’m being serious, I really started thinking about how I am, If I would probably lose the kids to child protection services. No I do not do illegal drugs. Yes I need norco cause I am now physically in pain from muscle stiffness and they say I have fibromyalgia but I’m fighting it!. The kids take baths when I notice them visually dirty or can smell them. I am horrible at remembering to tell them to brush their teeth! (they do have a dentist appointment coming up, I was always on it with those before losing insurance). Clothes are always clean now that I have a washer and dryer and I use tons of the good fabric softeners so they smell fresh at school, my daughter does her own hair most mornings (shes 8). I am a horrible cook who can’t stand very long so I don’t cook much at all, we eat take out, since my husband commutes 4 hours everyday and I don’t have a vehicle he picks up the food on the way into town. They eat the leftovers in the morning or cereal. BUT I am a hellocopter mom, I walk them everyday back and from school no matter how I feel. I take care of any sicknesses right away. and I always talk and tell them I love them. I am involved in their schooling and always have conversations about their safety. I am huge on talking to them about God, morals and manners. I am totally trying to justify the other stuff hahaha but really I do like to think I don’t neglect them. So thank you all for making me feel good and knowing that it’s ok and that I’m not the only one!
Ps. I too have covered up the pee and/or vomit in the middle of the night with a towel haha
The pool counts as a tub.
You bet your ass the pool counts as a tub! So does a run through the garden hose!
Same thing happening in this house…also there is nothing wrong with having a bath with baby wipes. One of my 2 1/2 year old twins has a pair of heart socks that she LOVES. She has been guilty of wearing them several days in a row. I don’t care, no one is sniffing her feet.
ooookkkkaaaayyyyy then, looks like someone is either pmsing or just craazzyyyy!
Oh my goodness! It is so (with 4 o’s) good to know that I am not the only one that does all of this. My kids (and I) have ate ice cream for dinner, we’ve stayed in the same PJ’s for a couple of days in a row without changing at all, and all too often have we “forgotten” to brush our hair. I don’t see it as being a bad mom or anything… just realistic!
Amen to your post! Thank you for your honesty. It makes others feel better! Sometimes you are so darn tired, you do all that you can and it is survival of the fittest.
Levels of cleanliness are all cultural, just go with whatever is logical! I do have to brush my kids’ teeth CONSTANTLY because of genetics, but showers… they happen sometimes. When my kids look dirty, whenever that is… and I am totally okay with that. They’ve got great skin, so obviously my parenting isn’t giving them festering skin diseases from filth, right??
Amen. All that happens at my house, too, but I only have one child. I should probably be ashamed, but I’m not because she’s alive. I’m totally winning. Great post!
I tell myself that the lack of bathing for my kids is good…I mean, lice like clean hair, right! Our one and only consistent shower night is Sunday…the one day we don’t have so much keeping us busy.
You always make me laugh. And make me feel like a normal parent! We have days like this at our house all the time. We have breakfast for dinner and if my husband’s not home? It’s on for a bowl of ice cream for dinner. There are some nights when I have to say to my kids, for your safety it’s time to go to bed. Forget bath time. You’re a good mom so rock on and screw the haters.
We agree that a dip in the pool or a run through the sprinkler counts as a bath, and think it also counts if you do a full wipe down with a baby wipe or two. Once they get to be teenagers, they will be spending plenty of time in the shower!
I believe every mother cheats every once in a while. It’s just depends on whether we are ballsy enough to admit it. I just found your blog and I’m enjoying myself so far!
Ha ha! As a mom of ONE who gives way too many baths because it entertains my child, I was feeling pretty good about myself (we don’t even wear socks). Until I got to #4…and #5…and #6… Right there with ya! Noooo (with 4 O’s) judgment here