It’s the last day of 2013.
I did a lot of things I never thought I would do this year.
I lost 40 pounds.
I ran a half marathon.
I completed the NYC Triathlon.
I completed my first marathon.
The NYC Marathon!!!
I raised over $8000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
I started a 5K race in my brother’s memory.
Huh.
A year ago, if you had told me I’d do all that, I probably would have laughed at you.
What a year.
But that’s not all.
There’s something else I did this year that I never thought I would do.
Something I’ve gone back and forth over.
Do I share this, or do I keep this one secret?
Because I live in kind of a small town.
A lot of people in town read this blog.
And people talk.
What to do…
What to do.
But this is kind of big.
And I want people to know that this kind of thing happens to hardworking people.
Not just degenerates.
Or drug addicts.
Or alcoholics.
Or scammers.
But good, honest, educated, hardworking people.
So the other thing I thought I would never do?
Well…
I definitely never thought I would file for bankruptcy.
I’m sure you’re wondering how I came to be in this situation.
I bet you want all the details.
There’s a good chance you are shaking your head in judgement.
All I can say is,
you have no idea.
It would take a novel to explain how this happened.
Maybe someday I will write one.
Because if I told you all the shit that has gone down in the past couple years, you wouldn’t believe me.
It would definitely have best seller potential.
And I realize I’ve just opened up a can of worms.
I know I’ve just invited a whole bunch of staring, finger pointing, and whispering.
But I also know that there is at least one person out there reading this who has been in the same boat.
Or who is currently in the same boat.
Who feels like a failure.
Who is feeling dejected.
Depressed.
Mortified.
Who is feeling the effects of the stigma attached to having to go through this.
And I just want that one person to know that you are not alone.
You are not a failure.
I totally get it.
I mean, I have my masters degree for Christ’s sake.
This shit is not supposed to happen to someone like me.
But it did.
Having to file is one of the all-time lows of my adult life.
I am financially ruined.
I could focus on that.
I could focus on the very long road I have ahead of me to rebuild.
Or,
I could focus on something else.
I could focus on the fact that this situation has also led to some pretty good things.
Some incredibly supportive, thoughtful, and understanding people have come into my life.
People who I may never have met had I not found myself in this situation in the first place.
My bank account may be empty,
but my life is actually more full right now than it has been in quite some time.
And for that, I am grateful.
This situation has also forced me to think outside the box.
And that has led to some other exciting turns in my life.
The blog has become quite popular.
It turns out I have a good eye for design.
I’m not bad at inspiring people.
Even as I sit in bankruptcy court.
So,
to that one ashamed and scared person out there who is feeling defeated,
have hope.
It will get better.
Look for the lesson in all this.
Look for opportunity.
As I look back at smoke coming off of the ashes of 2013, I could see chaos.
Destruction.
Rubble.
But I don’t.
Instead,
I see a Phoenix rising.
And you know what?
That Phoenix?
It turns out she’s a smart, talented, and pretty good looking blond.
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You are brave! And if anyone judges you, they are an ass. Bankruptcy happens. It isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s like a clean slate, right? You have a wonderful attitude and you are surrounded by so many blessings. Sure, it helps to have money, but it isn’t the be all, end all. And it sure doesn’t make happiness! Let your 2014 rock out, be the best EVER! Better things are coming down the pike for you, because good things happen to good people. You are amazing!
Sister,
Lemme tell you a story. One day my son said something about a pan handler with a sign saying she needed money to feed her children. Something like, “How’d she let herself get there? What a loser. Her kids must be so embarrassed”. You know- the things every 14 year old who’s seen so much of the world knows to be true. I explained to him that the only thing standing between me and that woman was the one person who decided I get to keep my job. We’re all a hair away from being her in this economy. We do what we have to do to survive. Every day. We go on. We aflame and fly. You got this girl. F*ck your neighbors if they don’t realize that they, too, are a hair away. I applaud you for your honesty. There’s nobility in hard work and building from the bottom. Hold your head high. Know that with posts like these, you empower many women. We unite with the common bonds that YOU bring light to. We learn to stop judging and stop competing and start fixing. It’s you, sister. You. Thank you.
You are very brave, Susie. I always admired your honesty. I think you say what a lot of us are thinking, but don’t have the guts to say it out loud. Crap happens to everyone and no one is perfect. You are smart and you will get through this.
I like your outlook. It doesn’t matter how hard one works, or how educated they are, anybody can find themselves in this situation – All it takes is one misstep. Congrats on moving forward.
Before having kids, I knew that I didn’t want my kids getting everything they wanted. I knew I didn’t want them to focus on the “things” people had, I wanted them to focus on the good things people do. Susie, you are doing good things! From letting your kids make messes while learning to cook to your FFF courses to sharing all of your inner thoughts with us. Those are the things people…your family, will remember. In 15+ years, no one will remember that you had to file for bankruptcy (and if they do, I’m sure they suck!) A few years ago, my hubby had to take a 25% pay cut…we just bought our dream house and was very pregnant with baby #2…holy stress level! But it forced us to look at the crap we didn’t need and how to save on things we did need. We are good now, but the lessons I learner from that will always be with me. I wish you nothing but a wonderful 2014 and beyond, can’t wait to read about how far your Phoenix will fly! Happy New Year!
Bankruptcy happens to more people than you would think. Hang in there– once you’re on the other side, you’ll have a lot of wisdom most people can only wish they had.
Susie, you are very brave. My father had to declare bankruptcy after the divorce to my mom. It happens and it is nothing to be ashamed of. If people fingerprint or judge, they are assholes. You have your health, your children have their health. You have a Wonderful family and you will get through this. Look what you accomplished this year. You are inspirational.
Never feel ashamed or like you are a failure, we all fall on hard times, trust me this past year has proved tough but today is a fresh start for all of us 🙂 Hope this year brings you good luck and gives you a break you desperately deserve! Happy New Year!
Wow you really are an inspiration. I want to lose weight and eventually start running. 🙂 I really hope I can accomplish my goals in 2014.
I also am filing for bankruptcy this year actually, it’s so common lately. Hugs! Have a great new year!
You are so brave and honest. Money comes and goes and this could easily happen to anyone. We all have mortgages and a slight change in circumstances could spell disaster for any of us. It’s just poor luck and nothing else.
Thank you for this post. I needed it.