Yesterday we had a tag sale, which is a yard sale, or a garage sale, if you don’t live in Connecticut.
Anyway, here are a couple of things I learned:
1. When you post on facebook that you are having a tag sale and you also write a blog about how your kids pick their nose and eat it, and make poop “the size of a hot dog”, and flush their toys down the toilet, and put fruit snacks in places they shouldn’t go, well then, there’s a good chance someone will write this as a comment on your status:
You know, when I read your blog, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t “Gee, I’d love to buy some of this family’s stuff.”
2. Telling your children to set up their own little “stations” makes it appear as though they themselves are actually for sale.
3. No matter how cheap you price them, babies don’t sell at tag sales.
4. Threatening to sell your out-of-control 5-year-old to the next person that comes to the tag sale doesn’t really do anything to improve her behavior.
5. Having all your children set up a collective “kid station”, and then sicking Number 4 on everyone who comes to your tag sale will force them to buy something out of guilt. Or fear for their lives.
6. If your children make any money from selling their own crap, they will immediately ask you to take them to Toys R Us so that they can buy some new crap.
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