Maybe I should be Usain Bolt for Halloween

It’s a good thing I’ve been training for this triathalon.

Last night I went to Shoprite.  As I was pushing the cart back to my car, I passed a husband and wife who were unloading their groceries into their car.

They had two shopping carts.  One of their carts was the kind with a truck attached to the front.  There was a little girl sitting in the truck part who was about 4, and there was a tiny baby in an infant carrier clicked into the top part of the cart by the handle.  The middle portion of the cart was overflowing with bags full of groceries. The second cart couldn’t possibly have held one more bag.  There was a mountain of stuff in there.  They must have had at least $500 worth of shit in those two carts.

I thought to myself as I walked past them, thank goodness the kids are home with my husband.  Shopping is exponentially easier when kids are not part of the equation.

Well those kids were being really good.

The parents, on the other hand, um, not so much.

They were bickering with each other, and eventually, just yelling. And then the mom realized she forgot to buy cigarettes, so she left the dad stuck there with the 2 carts and went back to the store.

“BIGGEST SCREW JOB EVER!!!” the husband yelled at her.

I had to agree with him.

She didn’t even turn around.  She was halfway down the parking lot, and just waved her hand at him behind her back.

I finished putting my bags away and was walking around the back of the car to put my cart away.

There the husband was, bent over, putting his bags into his trunk.

Let’s just say he was not a small man.  And more than half of his ass crack was hanging out of his shorts.

And the cart stuffed with his 2 kids and 4000 bags of groceries was careening down the middle of the parking lot.  The dad had no idea.

The parking lot slopes downhill to the store, so the cart was gaining speed.

I sprinted across the parking lot and managed to grab the cart before a serious catastrophe occurred.  I pushed it back to the dad, who was sweaty, pale, and mortified.  I felt bad for him.

I guess I could have made him feel better by telling him that I peed my pants doing my unexpected 25 yard shopping cart dash, but I decided to keep that little tidbit to myself.

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