I may be seriously disturbed. But not in that way.

Last night I wrote a post about how I decided to do the Whole 30 for a few reasons, the main one being because I really, really, really want to change my eating habits.

I expected to read comments about  1) how much people loved Whole 30, and 2) how hard people thought it was and  3 ) how it was life changing.

I read all of those.

But I didn’t at all expect to read this:

So you want to show your kids that when you feel out of control, you find an area of your life you can control, like food. That sounds closer to eating disorder than mindful healthy living… I wouldn’t agree that going on a restrictive diet because you feel “out of control” is an awesome example… the posts about your food restrictions and intense exercise regimens (for e ample working out multiple hours of times a day during th weight loss competition) are worrisome… think about the messages you’re sending, both the conscious and unconscious ones, when you obsess about diet and exercise.

WHOAH!

Obsess about diet and exercise?

Three years ago, when I was fifty pounds overweight and I joined a weight loss competition at the Y and set a goal for myself of winning it, yes, I worked out a lot. I worked out an unsustainable amount of time for 12 weeks.

Teaching my kids to obsess about exercise?

Hell no!

But for the twelve weeks I  participated in that weight loss program three years ago, I did teach them that if they set a goal for themselves, it will definitely require hard work and dedication to achieve it.

And now I teach them that it’s important to exercise whether you are in a competition or not. Not for hours each day. But for at least a little bit every day.

I teach them that exercise is by far the healthiest antidepressant that exists.

When the younger ones are older, I will talk to them about how depression and other mental illnesses run in our family, I will tell them how I was hospitalized multiple times for depression. I will tell them that I used to take antidepressants but once I started exercising on a regular basis I didn’t need them anymore.

And I will tell them that exercise is something I very much hope they incorporate into their lives starting now.

If encouraging my children to take care of their bodies and lead an active lifestyle makes me obsessed, well, then yeah. I’m 100% obsessed.

As far as the food goes, I’d venture to say that by your estimation, pretty much everyone who does Whole 30 for the reason of getting some control in the food department  has an eating disorder.

By the way, I checked the definition of an eating disorder, just to be sure.

Any of several psychological disorders (as anorexia nervosa or bulimia) characterized by serious disturbances of eating behavior

I’ve got plenty of psychological disorders to deal with.

But eating isn’t one of them.

There is a difference between unhealthy habits and serious disturbances of eating behavior.

So no, I’m not obsessed with eating. Or not eating.

I just really, really, REALLY want to change my eating habits.

And having some discipline for the next 30 days will help me do that.

Who knows, it might be a life changing thing and I might go for  sixty days.

Or there is a chance that tomorrow I’ll wake up and  in a moment of mindlessness, I’ll be biting into the piece of bagel that one of the kids didn’t finish.

That won’t kill me.

Because right now I’m taking steps to take charge of areas of my life that I have let go of.

So I’m not obsessed.

I’m just motivated to live a healthier lifestyle, starting with the food I put into my body and the way in which I prepare that food.

But don’t get me wrong.

There are plenty of things I am obsessed with.

In the past, especially with Number 3,  I obsessed about parenting decisions I made and things I said and I wondered if I permanently fucked him up.

And I’ll admit I’m a little obsessed about your inference that I’m setting an unhealthy example for my kids.

I obsess about certain aspects of my marriage.

After what we’ve gone through in the past couple years, I obsess about having enough money and a house to live in.

I obsessed about Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy and The Blacklist and  Scandal when they were my Netflix binge of the moment, and now I’m fairly obsessed with the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

I’m a little more obsessed with my phone than I’d like to be. If there were a Whole 30 program for social media I would totally be on that one, because I’ve recently discovered that I love Instagram, and there are a few accounts on there that I’m definitely obsessed with.

I’m obsessed with @mammabugbitme because I LOVE her paintings, and I check her  page multiple times a day, and when I wake up in the middle of the night to take Number 6 to pee, I sometimes check to see if she’s posted a new painting yet.

I’m embarrassed to admit I’m slightly (okay totally) obsessed with that model @luckybsmith. He’s only like twelve years old (I think he’s actually  17) but he’s freakishly attractive, and his whole family is gorgeous, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to live his life.

I’m  obsessed with @kathrynbudig. She’s a yoga inspiration and if I were to ever take a dip in the lady pond, it would totally be with her.

And then there is @earthyandy. Holy shnikes. If I could ever pull a Freaky Friday with someone for  a couple weeks (or in her case, decades) it would be with this family.

It’s not just Instagram.

I’m obsessed with positive discipline and the fucking hair that keeps growing out of my chin and Chris Martin and the Pentatonix CD a friend gave me yesterday and this new vanilla tea I found and the cool new coffee mug I got from TJ Maxx and with kissing Number 7’s cheeks because they still feel a little bit babyish.

Yeah.

I got 99 obsessions.

But food and exercise ain’t one.