You know, there’s something to be said for not having any money.
Then you can honestly tell the kids that you can’t afford the annoying things they ask for.
Like Rainbow Loom.
Fucking Rainbow Loom.
I had been so successful in avoiding that mothereffer.
Number 4 has come home from school every day with a new one of those bracelets.
On Monday,
“Mommy! Look what Mary gave me! CAN I GET A RAINBOW LOOM???”
On Tuesday,
“Mommy! Look what Jenny gave me! CAN I GET A RAINBOW LOOM???”
On Wednesday,
“Mommy! Look what Susie gave me! CAN I GET A RAINBOW LOOM???”
“Mommy! My teachers even want a Rainbow Loom! Kids are bringing them into school! Please can I get one?!?!? Please! Please! Please Mommy! PLEEEEEEASE!!!!”
And every day I say the same thing.
We can’t afford it.
Thank God.
So last Saturday we had a tag sale.
A friend of mine stopped by with her sons, one of whom is friends with Number 3. They were having a good time playing together, so my friend asked if Number 3 wanted to come play at her house.
Yes.
I had already gotten rid of a bunch furniture.
And now I’d unloaded one of the kids.
Around 5:30 I got a text.
Is it okay if Number 3 stays for dinner?
Yes!
Then a little while later,
I’ll drop him off in about an hour.
Yes! Yes! I didn’t even have to go get him! Delivery!
Now all this happened the night before the 5K race I was directing to raise money for charity, and at 7:00 I realized I didn’t have safety pins for the race bibs. I ran out to get some.
When I left the house, the kids had eaten dinner, and they were bathed, and clothed, and happy, and calm.
I pulled in the driveway and got home just as my friend was getting back in her car after dropping off Number 3.
I thanked her profusely, and then I went inside.
To Armageddon.
And Fucking Rainbow Loom.
When my friend left the house earlier that day, she had taken the boys on a little trip to Target.
She had promised her sons a Fucking Rainbow Loom that morning.
Well, now she had Number 3 with her.
She didn’t want to leave him out.
Number 3 and 4 have a love-hate relationship.
They either get along really well,
or they do everything they possibly can to annoy the living shit out of each other.
Number 3 seized this golden opportunity.
He had a Fucking Rainbow Loom, and Number 4 didn’t.
She went fucking ballistic.
So when I left the house to get my safety pins, everything was like Mary Poppins. The Cleavers.
And when I came back?
Lord of the Fucking Flies.
Everyone was crying.
Everyone was in a time out.
Fucking Rainbow Loom.
We’ve now had that fucker for 4 days.
We have not made one single bracelet.
There are rubber bands in places I didn’t think it was possible to get them.
This morning Number 6 shredded the directions, although that’s not that big a deal since they are, um, fucking worthless.
The plastic hook?
We haven’t seen that thing since Monday.
Which, coincidentally is the last time I had even one ounce of fucking patience.
We’re hoping to have another tag sale in about 10 days.
The first item on my list of things to sell?
Fucking.
Rainbow.
Loom.
Lex has asked for one. I’ve had to let her know the sad reality: Mommy doesn’t have a permit for that. And until I get one. We are just shit out of luck. Those permits are coincidentally only available when her friends are outside to play and we’d have to drive 6 hours – I know they make it so difficult these days.
There are a number of things/toys we (or anyone really) needs to avoid. Moonsand being #1. I had avoided that stuff like the plague….then a relative got it for my son for a birthday. I wanted to throat punch her. The second are Orbeez. Again, son wanted the Orbeez foot massager for a birthday….I forbid anyone from buying for him with the threat of instant death…..I shall add Rainbow Loom to the list.
no kidding about Moon Sand! Crap, my daughter got it for Christmas one year and thinking it was just another kind of Play Doh, sure go ahead. SHIT! That crap was everywhere, and it is impossible to clean up! One piece at a time, one tub at a time, that shit disappeared….poof! No more moon sand!
Yeah. Moon Sand sucked.
I had that (all over my house) too.
Can someone please make a list of these things so that us up-and-coming mom’s into this age bracket can be aware????
🙂
I’m working on that.
I finally broke down and bought it for my daughter. Those bands are all over my house! I can’t wait for this phase to pass.
I was told to come here and read your blog – and very glad I am too that I took the advice. You have a fantastic way of putting a story together in the way you write your posts, A really enjoyable read.
Thanks for the read and thanks for making me realise that I’m not alone in suffering sibling subterfuge.
Ha! No problem.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Am I the only one who thinks it was really in bad taste for this parent to buy another child a toy?
WTF??
I get the gesture was very kind, but hoenstly, I wouldn’t do it!
That kinda crosses a line with me.
Probably 🙂
That didn’t bother me at all. I would have done the same thing. But we’re also good enough friends to be able to do that for each other and know whether or not the other would care.
I dont think it was in bad taste for the friend to buy #5 a toy..the thing isnt that expensive. My son has come home from friends houses with stuff all the time.
LOVE the new site!
Thanks Momarchy Ladies. Me too.
LOL had to Google “Rainbow Loom”. Can’t say as I blame you about selling it at the tag sale but watch out #4 has lemonade money and just might be the one to buy it!! hahaha
Lmfao I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry but, lmfao!! That was the best read in a long time!
Shall I come over in ten days and take the kids?
YES!!!
And take the Fucking Rainbow Loom with you!
My friends and I were talking about this tonight! I’m hoping to shield my kid as long as I can. Love the new website 🙂
Stay strong, woman. Don’t be swayed by the dark side.
And glad you like the new site 😀
Rainbow Loom has made me become the kind of mom that says things like “if you wanted it so badly, take care of it! this stuff is all over my house!!!!”
OMG….I just Googled “mommy blogs” and found your site. With the first post, I laughed myself into to tears.
Thanks for the chuckle!
My daughter convinced me to buy her a rainbow loom about a month ago, I too was hesitant. I was pleasantly surprised, she makes at least 3-4 bracelets everyday, she watches youtube videos for instructions on new styles. I wear at least one everyday because it reminds me of her when I am work. So, I have to say in our case it has been utilized and brings my daughter a lot of joy and it keeps her busy!