Last week I wrote this post about how I had made it 6 months without yelling at the kids.
About how the kids still tried to push my buttons and get out of doing stuff around the house that they were supposed to do.
And how I realized that I was not holding Number 3 accountable for getting the dishes done, and how, once I quietly took the Kindle away, he got his act together.
He’s still not perfect. He still thinks I’ll forget about the dishes and he’ll still retain possession of the Kindle no matter what.
But it only takes a night without it to whip him back in line.
Number 3, on the other hand, was motivated by her Kindle for about, um… 45 minutes.
Then she just decided, Eh. Screw it. I don’t want my Kindle.
And she has blown off the dishes for the last two days.
I needed new currency.
I think Number 4 may have a future in fundraising.
There is a Jump Rope for Heart fundraiser going on at her school right now, and she has until February 10 the raise money.
To me, that would mean start seeking out contributions on about Feburary 8th.
But Number 4 has been relentless since January 20 when she came home with that fucking paper.
By January 22, she had gotten my mother, my father, my brother, Number 2, and Maureen to give her money.
I had told her I would give her money last week.
She asked me about it again this morning.
“Mom?!? When are you going to give me Jump Rope for Heart money?” she asked.
“When you clean up the kitchen,” I told her.
“Okay!” she said.
“For four days in a row.” I continued.
“But MOM! This is important to me!!!” she said.
“Well you cleaning the kitchen is important to me,” I said.
And with that, Number 4 walked directly to the sink and started loading the dishwasher.
No yelling necessary.
I owe you a huge thank you! I’m a mom of six and came across your blog posts on how you stopped yelling over the weekend. I’ve been a terrible yeller for as long as I can remember and been so frustrated with myself for not stopping this terrible habit. The worst was when I’d hear my kids screaming at each other, and I would know that they were simply acting just like me! I have no idea why but your blog posts resonated with me to such an extent that I immediately vowed to just stop yelling. Which I’ve actually done a hundred times before. But this time, thanks to your advice, I’m actually stocking with it! It was not easy to admit that I was the one with the problem, not my kids or husband. But once I read that part of your blog series something just clicked…I finally admitted it was me! It has been the most most peaceful five days (except maybe our summer week at the beach ;)) that our family has known in years. EVERYONE has been so very positively affected, maybe most of all me. So thank you from the very bottom of my heart, I am so grateful!
My dishes are dirty. Send her to me and I’ll donate too 😉 (just kidding about making your kid do my dishes..)
Cassidy
http://tuesdaystantrum.blogspot.com/2015/01/god-answers-my-mother-in-law.html
I grew up in a yelling family, not to place blame on anyone else, but it has rubbed off on me and that is NOT how I wanted to parent my beautiful children. I am all about Love and Logic and using alternative communication to create a loving relationship that does not involve yelling. It is said that the biggest bully in a child’s life can be their own parent. And its true! There have been times that I got upset and yelled and I would never stand for anyone else treating my child that way, so why am I (the one who loves them more than anyone else on the planet) even considering raising my voice? Although I don’t yell often, I want to make the same goal to not yell for 6 months. I think by then my parenting lifestyle will have changed for the better.
https://parentarizona.com/loving-relationships-give-consequences-their-power/