Lessons From A Simple Halloween

Halloween has always been a really big production for me.

Even back in my single days, I really enjoyed coming up with a costume that had a pretty big wow factor.

While it was a little bit stressful at times, it was mostly fun for me, and I enjoyed the process of coming up with a costume idea, making the costume and then, of course, the big reveal.

When you have five kids to get costumes together for, the stress level reaches new heights.

We also don’t live in a trick-or-treating-friendly neighborhood, and in the past we’ve always gone to a friend’s house on Halloween.

Then it’s my kids and a whole bunch of other kids, and it’s a lot.

LIKE A LOT.

And this year, for the first time ever, I took the kids trick-or-treating myself.

My husband wasn’t even around.

And I only took four of the kids because Number 4 went trick-or-treating with a friend across town.

It was the first time it was just us and no other friends/parents/families.

It was super simple and super relaxed.

At first I felt a little guilty that all we were doing was trick-or-treating.

No party, no massive candy sorting production at the end of the night.

Just me and four of the kids.

We could go at our own pace, we could go in any direction we wanted, and we didn’t have to worry about anybody else.

It wasn’t a big deal, but it was also the only time we put our costumes on.

We didn’t go to a trunk-or-treat, we didn’t go to any parties, we didn’t do Halloween multiple times.

I’m not sure when Halloween turned into like five Halloweens each year.

And if that’s your thing, that’s cool.

But for me, I only want to do it once.

I just feel like the multiple outings for candy is overkill. It kind of takes away from the specialness of Halloween night.

And even though our Halloween was very basic and super simple this year, it was a really nice night for us.

I had a great time just watching my kids go from house to house. I wasn’t talking to any other adults, I wasn’t half in the bag from pulling around a wagon with a cooler full of beers in it.

It was just me and my kids and nothing else.

It was pretty awesome.

We left the house at 6:30, and we got home a little bit before 8:30.

I gave the kids a little bit of candy sorting and trading time, and then we were in bed pretty much at our usual time.

This morning wasn’t torture, and the kids all had a decent night’s sleep.

It was very reminiscent of my Halloween’s back in the 70’s and 80’s.

I’m not knocking people who really like to go all out on Halloween.

I mean, I was one of them until last year. And who knows what mindset I’ll be in next year.

But I think sometimes we feel like we have to really go over the top in order to make these types of things special for our kids.

And we don’t.

The simple act of trick-or-treating is special! It only happens once a year!

My kids had a great time last night.

And to be honest, while they love going trick-or-treating with their friends, I think in the end they were really happy that we kept it simple.

You know what one of the most enjoyable parts of the night was for me?

Watching Number 3 with Number 5, 6, and 7.

Number 3 is now at least a good two inches taller than me.

He’s 13 years old and in 8th grade and in some ways he’s grown up, but in other ways he’s still a kid.

He’s also so tall now that people often assume he’s way older than he is.

He still enjoys trick-or-treating.

And I’m not going to put an age limit on that for him. If he still wants to go out with his friends or, even better, his siblings, I’m not gonna stop him.

He was great with the little guys last night.

Number 5 is super scared of dogs, so he’d do an assessment of the situation for her and let her know if it was safe to go to the door.

But I think he feels like it’s the end of the line for him.

He would walk up to each front door with the other kids while I waited in the street.

And after coming back from one house he said to me,

“Mom, I think this might be my last year. When you are taller than the people who are giving you candy, it’s time to call it a day.”

I felt so bad for him.

Sometimes growing up is hard.

Hard for the kids, but also hard for us parents.

I was brought back to this day, 8 or 9 years ago:

Me and my little Abby Cadabby and Super Grover. Before there even was a Number 5 or 6 or 7.

How quickly the time has flown by.

How I wish I had not worried so much about the production of Halloween in years past and just stayed in the moment with my kids.

As we head into Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, I want to remind you all of something.

You can keep it simple. 

If it’s a choice between doing something extra or being present with your kids, choose option B.

Because without realizing it, you are going to find yourself nine years older.

And you may not notice that much of a difference in yourself when you are nine years older.

But you will notice a difference in your kids.

It happens before you realize it.

Number 4 is no little Abby Cadabby anymore (bonus points if you know who she is).

My little Super Grover?

He’s not so little anymore.

Nine years from now your kids won’t remember every single Pinteresty detail of every holiday.

Neither will you.

But one thing is for sure.

I won’t forget last night.

And it was the most basic Halloween we’ve ever done.

There was nothing to distract from the experience.

I won’t forget watching Number 3 helping his brother and sisters. I won’t forget Number 6 getting to spend this Halloween with his big brother.

Just me and the kids and the pure joy of plain, old trick-or-treating.

Even though last night they looked like this:

It was a night that felt more like this:

Enjoy your family this year.

Relish in the NOW.

Keep it simple.

And let your biggest presents to your family this holiday season be your complete and total presence.