A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about how I was going to start each day off by complimenting the kids.
I’ve been pretty consistent about it.
I’ll be honest. At first it was a little uncomfortable. It was just such a foreign thing to do that I almost had to force myself to do it.
But the more I did it, the easier it got. And now rather than feeling awkward, it feels natural.
But with my husband, it’s still a little bit of a struggle. It still feels awkward to me, for some reason. It’s still unnatural.
I’ve stayed consistent with the kids, but with him, I’ve dropped the ball.
And then a couple days ago, a friend of mine shared this article entitled Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits.
It’s kind of long. But there was so much good stuff in it. And for those of you who don’t have time to read it, I’ll oversimplify and summarize it.
If you want to stay married, you need to be kind to your spouse.
I know.
Duh.
Anyway, it’s easy to get to that point in a relationship where you are so disconnected that kindness isn’t really happening at all. You’re just coexisting.
Or you may even be going out of your way to do things to piss your spouse off.
So the first lesson from the article (which brings me back to what I was saying about complimenting the kids) is that kindness isn’t a trait you are born with.
It’s a “muscle.”
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
I can see that this “muscle” has gotten stronger with the kids. And I just need to exercise it more with my husband.
So that’s what I’m gonna do starting right now. Gotta go.
If you and your husband are disconnected and you want to change that, go do something nice or give him a compliment. Not because you expect something in return, but because you are “exercising.”
Someone has to make the first kindness move.
And there’s no reason it can’t be you!
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