I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.
About what makes me happy.
If you’ve been around here for a while, you know that the last few years were tough financially.
And I’ve been thinking that having lots of money might make me happier.
And then I went to a fancy and expensive lunch last week and ate a $30 salad at Fred’s at Barney’s in New York City as the guest of Jill Kaargman who is an author and is starring in a TV show called Odd Mom Out which premiers on Bravo in June.
Let me first say this: I had never met Jill before and I had no idea what to expect, and I had no idea who else would be at lunch.
Jill was great. Beautiful and hilarious and down to earth and fun.
And all the women I ate lunch with were also super nice.
But I was certainly the Odd Mom Out in the group.
I’m quite certain that none of the ladies at the table were at the grocery store scoring free shampoo with their coupons before walking into Barney’s for lunch.
And what I realized as I left that lunch was that money might alleviate a lot of stress in my life, but having a ton of it won’t make me happy.
Or at least using it to buy lots of stuff won’t.
I asked the members of my current e-course to think about what makes them happy.
Like really happy.
And you know what NOBODY said?
Nobody said, My cell phone makes me happy.
No one said, My iPad makes me happy.
No one said that their car or flat screen TV or Coach purse or laptop or earrings or any other stuff they happen to possess makes them happy.
Which reminded me of my favorite George Carlin clip of all time.
The one where he talks about stuff. And how your stuff is stuff. But other peoples’ stuff is shit.
If you have a couple minutes, watch it.
Anyway, for the past couple Mondays, my mom has been coming up to the house to help me get rid of some stuff.
There is too much stuff in this house.
And it’s not making me happier.
In fact, it’s making me less happy.
It’s not really making the kids happy, either.
I got an iPad about a year and a half ago.
It took about 10 minutes for the kids to basically take it over.
And then they were fighting over it.
So my parents asked what Number 3 wanted for his birthday, and we told them a Kindle, and they got one for him.
And then there were kids fighting over that.
So then we told my parents Number 4 wanted a Kindle for her birthday. And they got her one.
And now kids are fighting over that, too.
And when they aren’t fighting over these electronic devices that we bought for them to make them happy but are all sitting on the couch not making eye contact with each other and simultaneously playing Minecraft on them and fighting over who’s fucking killing each other or who’s copying someone else’s bookshelves or losing sheep or whatever the fuck it is they do in that stupid game,well, they’re not really happy either.
And if it’s not the Kindles and iPads, it’s the clothing. And the shoes.
Tripping over 50 goddamn pairs of shoes in the mudroom does not make me happy.
It pisses me off.
Because the more stuff you have, the more work you have to do to keep it all in order.
And if you don’t do that, then your house is a shit hole.
And then you are really not happy.
So today I got rid of some stuff.
Eight bags of clothes, in fact.
All of them were hand me downs to begin with.
But so many people have given us stuff, and I haven’t been willing to get rid of it.
I mean, what if we needed it?
And then I looked at the kids’ rooms, and they were out of control.
How many pairs of jeans does a five-year-old really need?
Or how about a three-year-old? Is it really necessary for her to possess six fleece jackets that are all the same exact size?
No. It’s not.
So I purged.
And I think I’m just getting started.
Because when I thought about that question I had asked my e-course participants, and I thought about what it is that makes me happy, like reduces me to tears happy, none if it was anything I could hold in the palm of my hand.
Watching my kid kick some ass in a swim meet makes me happy.
Being able to sit down with my family and watch a movie makes me happy.
Spending time at the beach makes me happy.
And setting a goal for myself and accomplishing it makes me really happy.
Pushing through the shitty parts to get to the good parts and knowing that I didn’t quit?
That makes me really happy.
So yeah.
I still want to make an assload of money so I don’t have to worry about finances ever again.
But the way I want to spend that money is changing.
I don’t need to get more stuff.
Instead, I’m gonna do more stuff.
Because that’s what makes me happy.
Plus when you do stuff you don’t have to fold it, dust it, wash it or organize it.
And that REALLY makes me happy.
Thank you for making me Number 1!
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I’ve recently come to this same realization recently. I’m a shopaholic and I love scoring a great deal, but we don’t need anymore stuff. The more clothes I buy the kids, the more clothes I have to wash. My new motto is if I don’t love it or it doesn’t make me happy, get rid of it. I don’t care if I just got it or it was a present form so and so; I don’t need it. It is the life experiences that my kids are going to remember when they grow up.
I purge weekly……my fantasy is to get rid of my husband and children for a week and have a dumpster in the driveway…..
As long as you are only purging your kids and husband for a week and not throwing them in the dumpster too 😉
o.k., THAT made my day! I, too, fantasize about a dumpster in the driveway. I’ve just never put that on paper. Love it!
Although I initially thought that reading this article would be beneficial for me as a mommy, I soon (approximately 1/4 in) realised that it wasn’t worth my time. Tasteless, horrible language—and absolutely unnecessary. I pray you don’t use this type language around your children, or even worse, at your children.
So, I did what made me happy….I stopped reading.
Sincerely,
Embarrassed for you
I’m not quite sure what the fuck you are talking about.
Bwahaha… I’m pretty sure this is one of the tamest and least fucktastic blog posts I’ve read on here 🙂
Susie,
I know it makes you SO FUCKING HAPPY that you aren’t friends with Michelle! And happy Tuesday to you!
I’m a Southern girl, so all I can say to Michelle is “Bless your heart for taking the time to comment on a post that you’re not even going to finish reading.” (And for anyone not up on Southern accents, that’s a polite way of saying go fuck your self, Michelle.”). Love reading your posts each day, Susie!
Bye Michelle!
Check out this awesome book to declutter your home and live mess free: The life-changing magic of tidying up: The Japanese art of decluttering and organizing written by Marie Kondo. No, it is NOT about changing to the lifestyle of Japanese stuff…it is truly about what stuff you have in your home and why we keep cleaning over and over when we try to “organize” and still re-clean the whole house. I am still reading the book and decluttering my house. Lo, behold, my master bedroom’s closet with my husband…that closet stayed clean for the past couple months. Easy to put my laundry away and it’s still CLEAN! Then I did one of my kids’ closet and that closet remained clean! No strewn clothes on the floor or tossed stuff in the bottom of the closet. Now we did the kids bathroom and there was never a mess again. Seriously, after going through all the books on “minimalism” or living clean stuff books, this book by Kondo is one of my favorite book. Give it a try! 🙂
Purging is great, but I have to say my iPhone 6 really makes me happy, I just love it!
I second the Kondo idea, just listen to her talk on YouTube, and it helps you get going and just do it! I also did my closet, and it was great, I still need to do the rest of the house.
Awesome and well said! Stuff doesn’t make you happy. I admit it actually makes me happy to THROW things out! I feel like a weight has been lifted and the space has been cleared for me to get on with the rest of my life! So glad I’m not alone in this!
Definitely check out Missminimalist.com. The more you purge the better you feel and the easier it is to manage everything. You are definitely on the right track! You will find that getting rid of toys is actually easier than you think as well because the kids probably don’t play with half of them. Pass it forward and donate to Goodwill or to another family! Good luck!!
Thank you for this! It goes along so well with your fitness e-course. If we don’t fix all these other things and find out what makes us happy, what are we really working towards? I helped my grandmother purge stuff today. My grandfather, who is finally on hospice care, gave us permission today. My grandmother and I were reflecting on why he saved everything he ever got in the mail. We talked about how this is just stuff. And that stuff doesn’t matter. And he is finally realizing he can’t take it with him when he leaves this world. It’s not about the stuff, it’s about the 90 years of memories he’s made and the memories all of us hold so dear. I’m working on this in my own home too. I actually told my sisters that it’s wrong that my closets look like my grandmothers! She’s lived in her house since 1958. I’ve lived in mine since 2012. I’m working closet by closet, room by room! We’ll get there!! (Also, I got 4 bottles of expensive shampoo for $1.16 each last week, and that kinda made me happy :))
I saw George Carlin in Las Vegas many years ago. He couldn’t have been more dead on about “stuff” and “people’s shit”. Only if I had paid more attention to all that fucking stuff…..that i (we) don’t fucking need anymore or for that matter my two girls. And heaven knows my alter ego doesn’t talk like that in front of my girls. Well not my 5yr old, now my 18yr old…eh….sometimes….;)
I thought it was a good article. It pertains to what most of us go through in a home, if not very similar. So thank you!!