It’s official. I’m a titan of the blogoshpere. Well, according to 2 people, anyway.

I think I’m a little overwhelmed.

It’s not because the dining room table is already completely hidden from view by  about 47 loads of laundry.

Again.

No.

That’s not overwhelmed.  That’s just normal.

And it’s not because I just went and checked the oil tank and we are hours, or minutes, or maybe even seconds away from running out of oil.

No.  We will probably run out of oil at least twice this winter because I always forget to check the tank.

So that’s normal too.

Nope.

There are two other reasons why I’m pretty sure I have a little too much going on.

First, I was published in a book.

No, I don’t mean Bumptabulous.

I was published in another book.

It came out 3 days ago.

For 3 days, I have been published in another book, and I totally forgot to even say anything.

So yeah.  I’d say I’m a little overwhelmed.

It’s an e-book.  And it’s called No Laughing Allowed.

This one is pretty funny, and three of my posts are in it.

Two witty ladies named Monica Mylet and Abbey Fatica compiled a whole book’s worth of funny blogs, written by, in their words, titans of the blogosphere.

I believe from this day forward, that will be my new title.

Anyway, it’s only $2.99.

So I obviously haven’t had time to read the whole thing.

Or most of it.

Okay, really any of it.

But I can promise you, you’ll laugh out loud.

And if you don’t have a kindle or a nook, you can still get it.

There’s a kindle app for your phone.  It’s free.

I know because it only took me about 97 minutes to figure out how to put the fucking thing on my phone.

But I did it.

You can also download it to your computer.  That took considerably less time for me to figure out.

Now, I don’t get any money from this…50% of the proceeds are going to Hurricane Sandy victims.

The other 50% of the proceeds are being put into the next book in the series.

And if I can manage to get something put into that book, well, then I ‘ll see a little cash.

So while my overwhelmed ass is trying to write some funny shit to submit to that second book, I would like your overwhelmed ass to buy this first one.

Please?

Just promise not to leave me for a different titan.

Because then I would not just be overwhelmed.

Then I’d be depressed and overwhelmed.

Okay.  So that’s the first reason I know I’m barely keeping my head above water.

The second is carrots.

Yes.  Carrots.

I’m pretty anal about grocery shopping.  Because we go through a ridiculous amount of food.

So I pretty much have a plan for all the food I buy.  I’ve got it all figured out whether it’s for breakfast or lunch or snack or whatever.

If someone opens the refrigerator and is attempting to eat something that has already been, in my head, designated for a different meal, well, they may just lose their hand.

Anyway, we eat a lot of carrots.

And I get a big 5 pound bag of the baby carrots at Costco.

And I usually know when we are about to run out of carrots.

But I just made a discovery in the refrigerator.

I don’t know what the hell happened.

I don’t have one 5 pound bag of carrots in my refrigerator.

I don’t have two 5 pound bags of carrots in my refrigerator.

No.

I have three, unopened, 5 pound bags of carrots in my refrigerator.

What the fuck am I going to do with 15 pounds of carrots?

I mean, my kids like carrots.  A lot.

But not that much.

So I’ve got to go.

I’ve got homework to do.

And I need to find an assload of carrot recipes.

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