It’s not whether you win or lose. Unless you’re a mom on the team we played last night.

I believe in a little healthy competition.

I appreciate a good nail biter.

I don’t think kids should always win or that they should get a trophy or medal or ribbon every time they participate in any kind of athletic event.

I think it is a healthy lesson to learn that there are winners and losers, and I think kids need to learn sooner, rather than later, that if you want to succeed and win, or get first place, you need to work hard.

And that sometimes, even if you do work hard, harder than you’ve ever worked in your life, you still may not win.

Or get first place.

But I want them to learn another important lesson.

That while losing a game isn’t fun, playing the game is.

Working as a team is rewarding.

Pushing yourself to your limits can suck, but the payoff doesn’t.

Some parts of sports can be boring, or hard, or frustrating, and, well, not fun.

But there are others parts that are really, really, awesome.

And what makes it all worthwhile is that the fun part of it outweighs the not fun part of it.

So maybe sometimes you don’t win.

That’s a bummer.

But it’s not the end of the world.

And you will learn something about yourself in the process.

Something that will help you not just in that particular sport, but in many other aspects of your life as well.

So I am also the parent at the game or the meet who is cheering for her kid.

Usually pretty loudly.

Even if it’s a rinky dink little swim meet, you will often hear me cheering like a lunatic for my child.

I can’t help it.

I want my kids to know that they have the world’s biggest cheerleader supporting them every step, or stroke, or pitch of the way.

Maybe I embarrass them a little, but they know someone is there cheering them on.

Last week at a swim meet, Number 3 swam breaststroke.

Every time his head came out of the water, I yelled.

A woman from the other team gave me a funny look.

But after Number 3 came out of the water, my husband asked him a question.

I don’t remember what he asked, but I remember Number 3’s answer.

“I didn’t hear you, Dad, but I heard Mom.”

At the game last night, Number 3 had an awesome catch in the outfield.

His coach told him it was “the catch of the game.”

I’m not sure that was actually the case, but he felt like Derek Jeter out there.

(And yes, I know Derek Jeter doesn’t play in the outfield).

I was jumping,  and cheering, and hooting.

Yeah, I may be a little loud.

But I can’t help it.

And admittedly, I want my kid to win.

Yes, there is part of me that likes to have some bragging rights.

But mostly, I want my kids to have fun.

I want them to feel good about themselves.

I want them to have that feeling of accomplishment that I had just last weekend.

And when they do, I want them to have someone to celebrate that moment with them.

So if you are another mom who  feels like this every time your kid experiences success in his or her life,

I totally get it.

Cheer on, I say.

Yell.

Scream.

Hoot and howl.

Let your kid know you support him.

Or her.

But if you are one of those parents who yells not in support, and not for your child to succeed, but for another child to fail, well, you are an asshole.

Sure, we all want to win.

But we also want to teach our kids sportsmanship.

And not to be, well, not to be total douches.

If you feel the need to yell

“DROP IT!!!!”

at an 8-year-old, in a little league game, um, you are teaching your kid not to be a winner, but a loser.

And you need to shut the hell up.

Better yet, take your kid to a Mets game. Teach your kid how to walk in your footsteps there.

And leave my kid out of it.

 

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!!!

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