The other day while I was Konmari-ing my playroom (yes, I’m still cleaning — that post is coming soon), I came across a whole bunch of scalped My Little Ponies.
I had been finding random bits of blue and white and pink fake hair all over the place, and while I was cleaning I found the source.
Number 7 had chopped most of the hair off of Number 5’s My Little Pony Collection.
None of the kids were home at the time, and all I could do was laugh. Because it was funny. And because sometimes that’s all I can do. Laugh.
I posted the picture on Facebook.
Some people didn’t like that I didn’t hold Number 7 accountable.
And while I never mentioned whether or not I was going to do anything, well…
I totally didn’t.
And before anyone comments that I don’t need to justify my actions, that’s not why I’m writing this. At all.
I’m writing this for all the other moms who don’t feel like they can be honest or real for fear of being judged and shamed by other people.
Because I don’t really believe there is a parent out there who holds their kid accountable for every single douchey thing they do.
That’s a full-time fucking job. And sometimes, you just don’t make it in to work.
Was it okay for Number 7 to destroy most of Number 5’s MLP collection?
No.
I certainly don’t condone the kids wrecking their siblings’ stuff.
You know what I also don’t condone?
Name calling.
It’s not okay.
It’s not okay to look at your sister and yell STUPIDBUTTHOLESTUPDBUTTHOLESTUPIDBUTTHOLESTUPIDBUTTHOLESTUPIDBUTTHOLE! until she can’t take it anymore, loses it, and starts beating the shit out of you.
When the Barbies get beheaded and the My Little Ponies get scalped and the pictures get ripped into a million tiny pieces and the Minecraft sheep get killed and someone is screaming STUPID BUTTHOLE! and someone else is throwing rapid fire punches like a Real Housewife from New Jersey, it is not okay.
There should be a swift, just consequence.
But you know what?
Sometimes there isn’t.
Sometimes, when my kids are being complete and total tools, sometimes, I just look the other way.
Sometimes when I hear my four-year-old is telling her older brother that he is a DUMB BUTTHOLE!, I do nothing.
Sometimes when I find a pile of fucked up My Little Ponies, I just throw them in the garbage.
Sometimes when two kids are going at it on the floor like a couple of UFC fighters, I separate them and then I do… absolutely nothing.
Because sometimes I’m just too tired. Sometimes I don’t have it in me.
I know it’s not the best thing to do. I know that by ignoring the shit that my kids are doing I am sending my children inconsistent messages.
Most days, I’m totally on my game. But sometimes I’m not.
Nobody wins every game, nobody bats 1000%, nobody sets a world record every time they compete.
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you get disqualified, and sometimes you strike out.
But I’m doing my best. Just like the rest of us.
And sometimes throwing the scalped My Little Ponies in the garbage and pretending like it never happened is the best that I can do.
When I was reading your blog, I am constantly laughing by myself as I can relate to that. I totally agree with you, nobody can perfect the rules of parenting. There will be days like you’re a super mom and days like things are gone out of control and all you can do is sigh. It’s all normal and nothing is wrong with that. Everyday is a learning pace. I enjoyed being a mom, just like you. 🙂
I’m totally there with you. I’m not always “on it” and really, sometimes it ok to just let them sort it out on their own.