I think Richie Rich would have been more fitting.

I kind of have a problem with Jessica Simpson.

And her family.

And friends.

And her Tom Sawyer themed baby shower.

You know, her second baby shower.

Come on, famous, rich people.

What the hell does Jessica Simpson need to be showered with at this point?

She’s like,

a bazillionaire.

I know she has a daughter.

And that now she’s pregnant with a boy.

But she can afford to buy all the blue shit she needs.

Couldn’t she have said something like,

Listen Everyone.

I’m fucking loaded.

Let’s take the thousands of dollars you are all going to spend on a lot of shit that I will never use and put it to good use.

Let’s buy some stuff for a pregnant mom who lost all her belongings to Hurricane Sandy.

Let’s pay the college tuition of some poor kid who deserves it, but can’t afford to go.

Let’s feed a few hundred kids in this country who go hungry every day.

For like the next,

I don’t know…

Two years.

I know that whether you are famous or not, having a baby is exciting.

I’m not saying that just because you have millions of dollars you don’t deserve or appreciate a little welcome-to-the-world gift for your new baby.

I’m not saying don’t celebrate.

Sure.

Have a big ass party.

But have your rich and fancy friends spend their money on  someone who really needs to be showered with gifts.

You know,

Someone like…

Tom Sawyer.

I mean, for crying out loud…

The kid couldn’t even afford a pair of shoes.

Maybe I’m being too hard on her.

Yeah.

I take it all back.

That unborn kid of hers definitely needs a pair or two of Louis Vuittons.

Isn’t that what you got when you had your second baby shower?

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