I see London, I see France, but I don’t see Number 4’s underpants

Last week Number 4 went to school without any underpants.

If she had been wearing leggings or pants it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But she was wearing a skirt.

I don’t pick out what the kids are going to wear or help them get dressed in the morning.  Even Number 5, who is 3-years-old, picks out what she wants to wear and puts in on by herself.

That’s just one battle I don’t have the energy, patience, or time to fight every morning.

So it took me until the 4th day of school to realize that Number 4 had been going commando to first grade.

“Number 4, you have to wear underpants to school,” I told her.

“Well you didn’t say anything yesterday, and I didn’t wear them then,” she said.

Awesome.

So from then on, every morning when Number 4 would come downstairs after getting dressed, I started asking, “Do you have underpants on?” and every day Number 4 would do an about-face and go right back upstairs.

Last Friday afternoon I was sitting outside on the front doorstep waiting for Number 4’s bus.

It pulled up, she got off the bus, and ran to the house.  She sat down in front of me on the ground and started rifling through her backpack to find the note I had left for her the night before at Open House.

I wasn’t really paying attention because Number 6 was throwing a pretty decent fit inside, and I was listening to that.

“Mom.

MOM!

MOMMY!!!

ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING???

I SAID DID YOU WRITE THIS NOTE FOR ME???”

That got my attention.  I turned back to her.

She was sitting in the middle of the walkway.

It looked as if her teacher had planted a bomb inside her backpack (I’m sure she’d like to).

Its contents were strewn everywhere. She had marker all over her face, most of the drink I had sent into school with her was dried into the front of her shirt, and, well, let me put it this way…

The extended version.

Shit.

I started sweating.

Profusely.

Every morning for two weeks, Number 4 had been going back upstairs after I asked if she was wearing underpants.

But she wasn’t actually putting any underwear on.

For two whole weeks.

I’m waiting for the call from school.

Until then, I guess I need to schedule an underwear inspection into the morning routine.